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Previously

"I'm smart"

Summer Miller
22

I bite my lip as we say our goodbyes for now and hang up making me throw myself back on the bed closing my eyes.

"that man is so Finee!"

I said to myself outloud like whew sir you is such a good seed I wanna chew on him or sumn let him melt in mouth.

I hear feet pattering through the house coming my way as I sit up on my bed seeing Phor come in, he got me worried and shit.

Like deadass I know if this man gave me a bad breed imma tussle him bout it cause I done had Phor since I was 20 and we been together for 2 years.

If I lose him imma cry real tears and real bad he like a big part of me for real my house gon feel a lil empty if he ain here, so if this tumor thing is true imma make sure he go out happy.

But first I gotta schedule a new appointment on the east side it's gon be a lil high but I need to be sure I need that second opinion as soon as possible.

I start cleaning up some more in my underwear and bra not liking clothes that much in my own space thinking about what we (me and Ant) could be under these circumstances.

He was sweet, patient, funny, and didn't mind me being up under him every step all what I wanted and than he'd hit me with that we both on the same page stuff which is needed.

I also love how he always calm and collected never raising his voice with me even though I'd expect him to because I'm not the most easiest when coming to understanding in my head I feel.

But he deals with me incredibly he helps me bring out a fun side of me that I thought I loss I thought I could never be comfortable with someone again until he showed up in the most...

Complicated position like me having this job well career and he needs me to help him get things in order for him to better himself I think it's an beautiful thing of him doing this and not tryna get out of it.

But us trying to build something in the midst of this is a terrible thing I feel because at some point them lines with me being his therapist and 'lady friend' as he calls me will blur.

And during this transformation I'm gonna guide and help him through as his therapist it will confuse him so maybe I should just cut this short before it's too late with him.

But I really don't want to as someone who craves quality time with another as himself, but maybe I'm being selfish when it comes to choosing between him and my career choices.

I just can't decide right now so imma take it day by day and hope it doesn't turn out to be the worst decision ever, I go shower  and play music throughout my home as I get dressed for the grocery store.

I just can't decide right now so imma take it day by day and hope it doesn't turn out to be the worst decision ever, I go shower  and play music throughout my home as I get dressed for the grocery store

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