Jabari Ian Clarke
8:02 pm
November 2, 2006
Atlanta
On my way home from being at work for 12 hours I was ready to see my kids. Usually, when I came home my fiancé Laila was either asleep or drunk out of her mind. This was a constant cycle for the past few months. I've been trying to help by gettin rid of the alcohol but somehow she still gets some.
Ever since she gave birth to our first son Zaire she's been different. I was the one that was takin care of Zaire all she did was breastfeed and pump for him, but i had to make her do that. I was the one who changed all the diapers, bathed him, watched him, and put him to sleep.
She acted like she didn't care for me or Zaire after givin birth. Then when she gave birth to Aunesti and Akai it got worst.
Now she drinks all day until she blacks out. She neglects the kids and makes them have to do everything alone.
I pulled up to our modern 1 story house and cut off my car. As I walked to the house I locked my car door and prepared myself for the worst.
Every day when I came home I was scared for my kids. I wish I could stay home but I had to get some type of money or we would be homeless.
When I walked into the house it reeked of alcohol and my kids were nowhere to be seen. I started to panic and think the worst.
Are my kids ok?
Where is Laila?
Did she take the kids?
Are they dead?
"Zaire! Akai! Auni!" I yelled, my voice booming through the house. Then I heard a door creak open.
Zaire peeked through his door and looked around for me. They all ran out and hugged me and I pulled them all into a tight hug. A sudden feeling of relief went over me knowing that my kids were somewhat ok.
I looked on the couch and Laila was passed out. She had two empty bottles of liquor next to her.
"Are yall ok? How long was yall momma asleep?"
Zaire responded while Auni and Akai looked up at me. Since this would happen a lot Zaire became very independent and watched how I cared for them so he could do the same.
"We ok, I fed the twins some applesauce and she slept for a few hours." He responded while the twins were still attached to me.
"Ok. yall go back in the room while I talk to yall momma," I said feeling sorry for them.
"And Zaire make sure yall occupied."
"Yes sir." He said with a nod and smile. I immediately smiled back while he got the twins off of me.
They all went back into the room as they were told, and I went to wake up Laila.
"Lai wake yo drunk ass up. You out hea sleep while my kids in that room not bein supervised. Why the fuck you think that's ok" I semi-yelled because I didn't want to make the kids come out of the room.
At this point, she was halfway up and barely listening to what I was saying.
"Well? Ion hear no response and you just sittin here lookin dumb. You gon explain yoself or come up with a bullshit excuse?" I said in the same tone as I felt myself get madder.
She began to break down crying and apologizing. Saying that she only had "one drink" because she got stressed by the kids. For some reason, I believed every word she said, even though the kids were very easy to handle. I hugged her and reassured her that the next time she was stressed she needed to call me, and I would drop everything to help her.
"Look, I still love you," I said because I loved her so much that she could never do wrong in my eyes.
"And I love you too. Again im sorry."
"It's ok I just- never mind Im going to go get some food for us and the kids."
"Ok, me and the kids will be right here." She said with a gentle smile.
I turned and started walking towards the door. I grabbed my keys and my jacket. Then I walked out of the house and into my car and drove to the nearest pizza place.
Little did I know this would be the last time I would see all my kids together for a long time.
Laila Rae Jones
9:16 pm
November 2, 2006
Atlanta
I think he's cheating on me. He says he's at work all day but he's probably with another girl.
Laila's mind was messed up because all she did was drink and sometimes do drugs so she would think of random theories.
Once he finally left I started to pack me and Aunesti's bags to leave. You may be wondering why I'm leaving, and that is because I don't even love him anymore. The high school sweetheart junk doesn't last and when you settle down and have kids you don't want it anymore.
She was in love with alcohol and drugs.
So Im now leaving him.
I don't know why Im bringing Aunesti, it's probably because I knew he had been wanting a daughter and I wanted to take something from him out of spite.
Im just going to drop her off at my mom's house because I wasn't going to continue to ruin my life because of kids that I never wanted.
I've also started drinking and it's been helping with my mental health and it makes me happy.
Zaire and Akai crying broke me out of my thoughts.
"Noo, Auni don't leave us." Akai whimpered.
"I don't want to leave, mommy said if I don't then I will be in trouble," Aunesti said with tears coming from her eyes.
"But.. you can't just leave. Maybe we should ask dad about it," Zaire said
Zaire and Akai contained their tears and tightly hugged Aunesti while I was at the door with our bags. I grabbed Aunesti while she was crying and reaching for Akai and Zaire and took her with me outside. I heard the boys crying but I ignored it and continued to leave.
I unlocked my car and put the bags in. Then I put Aunesti in her car seat.
She continued her crying evenwhen I pulled out of the driveway.
"Mommy, why do we have to leave? I don't want to leave everyone." She said while crying.
"It's better to leave. You will thank me in the future."
We continued on the highway toward the airport.
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Authors Note:
This is the first chapter of my first book and im so excited for everything to jumpstart. Tell me if you like it and im sorry for all the mistakes imma download grammarly😫. Anyways yall give me feedback and tell me what to do to improve.
yall ts is ass, it will get better once you keep readin!! once i finish the book ill cone back and redo these first few chapters.
