SURVIVOR

// You smell of my cholone //

September 25th, 2019

Your POV

"You don't love me Jeff, you never will.." I whispered, my tears ran over Jeff's thumb as he held my face in his hands. We sat on his bed, the room being filled with the slight chatter of the television.

"I love you...more than I should...I think it's love atleast." He smiled, the bridge of our noses touched.

"Is obsession love?" I asked him, at the time I wouldn't know how Jeff felt...but living with a man for so long I would soon realize his pain of deformed love. Even to this day, I still have a voice in my head calling out to Jeff.

"Yes." Jeff chuckled, turning his head, he pushed forward and let his lips press up against mine.
I didn't resist, I let it happen like any other person who had given up would. If I fought, I would get slapped. And at the time, my mentally sick mind loved the attention Jeff gave me.

I was craved for it, like the hunger for meat.

The room was barely lit, a calm energy drifted throughout the breeze. Favorite T.V show was playing on the television, I had lost track of what the characters were doing by then.

His hands tightened on my cheeks, his lips quickened as I followed behind. We danced, him leading me throughout the ballroom with a strong scent of alcohol and cigarettes. My dress/suit swayed gracefully as my heart pace quickened with excitement, soon his dance moves became more complicated. He bit down on me, making me give out a gasp as blood began to pool in my mouth.

Our arms wrapped around one another as we danced, his warm and husky murmurs were like music to my ears as they echoed in the steamy ballroom.

Jeff broke apart leaving a line of salivia, taking in a gasp of air while his eyes observed my face with pure amusement.

"Your tears are gone now, did that help?" He whispered, for a moment our little dance helped...but a deep and regretful guilt and disgusting emotion recided in my chest, his rough hands slipped under my shirt and latched onto my hips with his warm and rough hands.

My face was blushed, heart paced of pure excitement.

"Yes..." I mused, placing my lips on his jawline and left my lips there as I took in his scent. Something about him always made me feel intoxicated, drunk with lust...a hint of disgust always managed to tag along.

"Hmm." Jeff hummed, stroking the back of my back with one single finger. It sent tingles up my spine, pleasurable as I craved affection. "Your never so close with me...what's the difference tonight?" He whispered once more, looking down on me as I now rested my cheek in the crook of his neck.

"I feel...your the Jeff I missed." I whispered back, this made him shut up and enjoy the moment.

He continued to trace circles on my back, humming an unknown tune. The beast was gentle and quiet tonight, no violent or meaningful thoughts lingered in his fucked up mind. Tonight, he was the Jeff I fell in love with.

"You're so beautiful, so..." I trailed off, kissing my way up to his scarred lips. His smile, was caught up in my words. He dragged his nails across the flesh on my back, addictive tingles creeped up my spine. "Are you trying to seduce me with your cute little noises?" Jeff smiled, his smile stretched as his nails dug deeper into the fat on my hips. "Would you like me to seduce you?" I whispered, looking up at the smiling man through my eyelashes.

It was quiet in the room, my heart beated in my ears.

"Why are you being so aggressive, what's wrong?" I muttered, tracing the man's collar bone.
"I'm frustrated, sexually..." He breathed out, slowly he leaned in a placed a long kiss on my neck, maybe even giving me a hickie.

His hands slid up my sides, close to my breasts making my eyes widen. He sucked harder, making me bite down on my bottom lip in...enjoyment?
His hands rested below them, as if waiting for permission.

A little part of me, wanted him to touch me.

Young girls, even boys latch onto older men and women. They think it's healthy, when it's just children looking for their parents in their lovers as they drift around only being used for their bodies.

But of course, younger us didn't know that.

We thought it was love, when really this monster knew what he was doing. He was manipulating me, Nina and Jeff's other victims had gone off of his little plans and realized their fucked up fantasies never were real. Jeff just wanted toys, and so he got them, from rich neighborhoods and gifted children, to the low lives in the chains of prostitution and ghetto parts of town.

A predator does whatever it can do to blend in with it's prey, showing off it's perfect charm.

Prey are followers, the ones who are stuck in the blend of the unwanted. Predators, are lone hunters who know they never will blend in.

"So what is it?" I whispered, biting down on my lip trying to contain myself from the pain on my neck as he bit down. His nails nug Into my flesh, his teeth sunk into my skin.

"I'd like to think on that one." Jeff chuckled, letting go and gently placed his forehead against mine. Deadly butterflies floated in my chest, thumping against my heart waiting for the blood to spill out. His hands slipped from my lower back to under my shorts and gripped my behind, my eyes widened at the sudden action as new emotions piled on my stomach before he slid his hands back out, letting the tips of his fingers drag along my lower back.

I almost begged him to touch me more.

"You smell so delicious, your skin feels so soft...I could just drag my blade and it would slice right off." Jeff whispered as he placed a light kiss on my lips, pressing harder into my flesh as he created endless circles on my lower back. "Why aren't you scared of me?" He asked out loud to the room, sending chills up my spine.

"I don't know, I don't feel anything...I'm simply not here." I whispered back, his flesh was cold against my cheek. "Hm, now someone understands." Jeff couldn't help but to chuckle, dragging his hands up and down my back.

"Yeah..." I barely spoke, his humming continued to vibrate my mind.

Was I becoming like him? Was I truly loosing emotion? Was I becoming them.

"I love you."

That was the first time, the three words that would start a thing that I would forever regret.
It scared me that I spoke those words, to him.

"O-Oh, do we now?" Jeff cackled, pulling apart and grabbed my arms as he looked me over.
He looked down on me with a look of sadness, and a mocking manner. "You love me, sugar?" He smiled, tears had pooled up in his eyes.

The monster had been called loved after five years.

"Yes." I whispered as I kept my eyes lost in his dark blue orbs, wondering what his true thoughts were. "You amuse me, Y/n..." He hugged me once more, to what I assumed hiding his tears.

We sat there, for what seemed like forever on the messy mattress as he traced my back.

My mind sat empty, waiting for the simple words.
Repeating, what would of made my heart spill out those words to the killer.

Had I given up and finally given in?

I sat there, waiting.

He didn't say I love you back.

__________________________________

I crave him

Broskies I'm so touch starved that even if I was smacked I would take that as a gift

Anywho, why the fuck did (Name) have to say I love you?

Are they....I don't know...gaining Stockholm Syndrome 😱