𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | r. berry

Mattresses

"Where's Rachel?" Kurt asked as he set a stack of yearbooks down on the piano.

"She's not here yet," Autumn informed as she took a sip of water.

"Perfect. Glee Club stands on a delicate precipice. We have all felt the cold humiliation of a slushie in the face. But as of right now, our relative anonymity as a club shields us from more severe persecution. Swirlies, patriotic wedgies."

"What's a patriotic wedgie?" Mercedes asked.

"It's when they hoist you up the flagpole by your undies," Finn explained.

"Strangely, it did make me feel more American," said Artie.

"Based on my investigation, I am of the opinion that a yearbook photo would only fuel the flames of anti Glee Club terror," said Kurt. "I've done a little library research. Peter Gellar. Glee Club second tenor, 1998. He can be seen here with both a drawn on Hitler mustache and rice paddy hat. Shortly after the yearbook came out, Mr. Gellar had a nervous breakdown. He is now the homeless man who sleeps in front of the public library."

"Patches?" Quinn asked, exchanging a look with Autumn.

"Patches," Kurt confirmed.

"He barks at my mom," said Brittany.

"Exhibit B," Kurt continued. "Tawny Peterson, Glee Club class of 2000, seen here in her photo with a cartoon knife stuck in her head, in a macabre tableau that in four years would prove eerily prescient. I think I speak for all of us when I say that not having to pose for a yearbook photo might be a blessing in disguise. I suggest not fighting Figgins' ruling."

"Oh, hey, guys," Mr. Schue said as he came into the choir room. "Ah, looking at old Thunderclaps?"

"It's really unsettling," said Artie.

"And totally unfair," Mr. Schue said as Quinn and Autumn exchanged a confused look. "Hey, can I borrow one of these? You know what? This year's Thunderclap is going to have a Glee Club photo with every one of your smiling faces. You have my word on it."

All the Glee kids exchanged uneasy looks as Mr. Schue left the room.

****

"Hey, guys! Great news!" Mr. Schue exclaimed as he came into the room. "Glee Club gets a photo in the Thunderclap. It's going to show everyone at the school that Glee Club is on its way up. When we win regionals, those Claps are going to be collector's items. I mean, all of your classmates are going to be begging for your autographs. But, I had to compromise to do it. Um, we only get a quarter page in back. Which means we have to pick two team captains to appear in the photo. So, tomorrow we're going to put it to a vote! Exciting, huh? Alright!"

****

The next day, the Glee Club sat in silence as they waited for the voting to start.

"Well, we're all here," said Mercedes. "I guess we should vote."

"With your permission, I have prepared a few words," Rachel beamed as she stood up and went to the front of the choir room.

"I nominate Rachel," Autumn mumbled.

"Second," Puck agreed. "Alright, let's vote up in this piece. I gotta go hit the gym and load up the guns of Puckerone for the football picture."

Puck handed everyone a piece of paper and they all casted their votes. Finn collected all the slips and took them up to Mr. Schue, who then proceeded to count them.

"Looks like everybody voted for Rachel," the teacher said after he counted the votes. "Including Rachel. But, we need two captains, guys."

"Why two?" Quinn asked. "We're fine with having Rachel represent us in the Thunderclap by herself."