𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | r. berry

Homesick

If Autumn had to pick one thing she hated most about Desert Park Hospital, it would be the weigh-ins. Every week, Nurse Wilson would have her step up on the scale to see how much weight she had gained and to see if she was any closer to the goal weight.

If she reached her goal weight and was able to maintain it, she'd be able to go home.

Nurse Wilson frowned as she wrote Autumn's weight down. In the past week, she had managed to lose three pounds instead of gaining. She wrote a few notes down before motioning for Autumn to step off the scale.

"Do you want to explain why your weight is getting lower instead of higher?" Nurse Wilson asked sternly, her lips slightly pursed.

"Fast metabolism?" Autumn shrugged.

"No," the woman shook her head. "That's not the case. Your metabolism has slowed down because of your eating habits. So I'm gonna ask you again. Why are you losing instead of gaining?"

"I... I, um, I..."

Autumn hated being alone with Nurse Wilson. She was scary, and she always felt like she was doing something wrong whenever she looked at her like that.

"I..."

"We'll talk about this later," Nurse Wilson sighed, nodding to the door. "Go."

The brunette grabbed her hoodie from where it was sitting on the chair and pulled it on over her head as she left the weigh room. She played with the purple, white, and blue friendship bracelet on her wrist as she made her way down the hallway.

It had been a month since she left Lima, and to say she was homesick would be an understatement. Everytime she got a phone call from her parents, brothers, Naomi, or any of her friends, it just reminded her of everything that she had lost.

She wanted to go home.

But she knew she probably wouldn't.

"Girl, you okay?" Juniper asked, shaking the older girl from her thoughts.

"Not really," Autumn sighed. "I lost weight again, and Nurse Wilson's on my ass about it."

"That bitch is so scary," the Latina said, shaking her head. "The other day she caught me in the janitor's closet with a bottle of vodka and practically bit my head off."

"How did you sneak a bottle of vodka in here?" Autumn asked, furrowing her brows.

"I know a guy," Juniper shrugged as they walked into the rec room.

"How'd your weigh-in go?" Josephine asked.

"Idonwannatalkaboutit," Autumn mumbled as she collapsed on the couch and buried her face in the cushions.

****

Once receiving his visitor's pass, Finn Hudson made his way down the hallway to the eating disorders unit of Desert Park Hospital.

He hesitated before walking into Autumn's room. She looked up from the homework she was working on, clearly not thrilled to see him.

"What do you want, Finn?"

"Here," the quarterback said, handing her a heart shaped box of chocolate. "It's almost Valentine's Day, and I remember we used to always exchange treats when we were younger."

"Chocolate?" Autumn asked, raising a brow.

"What, you don't like chocolate anymore?"

"You do get that I'm anorexic, right? That's why I'm here," Autumn sighed, setting the box of chocolate down on the desk next to her bed. "Do you not understand that on any level?"

"Look, I get it," Finn said, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his letterman jacket. "You're mad at me because of what I did with Rachel, but I'm here to apologize. I thought chocolate might help because chocolate makes everything better."

Autumn chewed on the inside of her cheek as she looked over at the box of chocolate. She set her homework aside and reached for it. She motioned for Finn to sit down, which he did.

She took the lid off of the chocolates and handed one to Finn before taking a tiny bite of a coconut one.

"I see the coconut creme is still your favorite," Finn said, trying to lighten the mood as he took a bite of his. "Strawberry creme."

"That's still your favorite, right?" Autumn asked as the boy nodded. "So, how's McKinley?"

"It's good. Everyone misses you, especially Naomi."

"Is she doing okay?" the brunette asked as she took another bite of the chocolate.

"She's hanging in there," Finn nodded as he placed the rest of the strawberry creme chocolate in his mouth. "She stopped talking for a while, but Britt and Santana have been there for her."

"That's good. How... uhm, how's Rachel?"

"She misses you. She feels really bad about what happened, and so do I." Finn sighed as his friend rolled her eyes and took another small bite of the chocolate. "Autumn, did she tell you what happened? The whole story?"

"Just that you guys made out because she was pissed I had sex with Brittany," Autumn mumbled.

"That is what happened, but did she tell you that I said it was a bad idea?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It only lasted about two minutes before I said it wouldn't be right to do that to you," Finn said as Autumn rolled her eyes. "I mean, I did do that to you, but I'm really sorry. I really want to make things right, so that-that's why I came here. I don't want you to hate me."

"I don't hate you, Finny," Autumn said as the quarterback smiled at the old nickname. "I just don't get it. Why did you even agree to make out with her?"

"Cause I kinda like her too," Finn mumbled, lowering his gaze. "But Rachel... Rachel really likes you. I shouldn't have agreed when she asked me, and I'm really sorry."

"You've said that twice," Autumn chuckled as she placed what was left of the coconut creme filled chocolate in her mouth, savoring the flavor as she chewed.

"So... we're good?" Finn asked, standing up and extending a hand for her to shake.

"Yeah," Autumn smiled as she stood up and hugged him. "We're good."

****

That night at dinner, Autumn had managed to eat everything that was prepared for her. Nurse Eliza was proud of her, and made sure to let her know.

Instead of crying herself to sleep like she had done almost every night since she arrived, Autumn found herself falling asleep with a smile on her face as she looked at the teddy bear that Finn gave her as he was leaving.

All in all, it was a good day. Even though she didn't accomplish much, it was always the small victories that felt the best.

Maybe there was a chance she could go home after all.