𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 | r. berry

Theatricality

a/n - trigger warning for brief mentions of eating disorders

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" Autumn asked as she snuck behind the Carmel auditorium with Rachel. She took a bite of the granola bar the diva had given her and looked around to make sure they weren't being watched. "We could get in serious trouble for this. Besides, aren't you still mad at me?"

"I took what you said to heart, and I realized you were right," Rachel said as she rummaged through the dumpster. "I was trying to look like a slut so people would take me seriously, and– oh my god!"

"What is it?" Autumn asked as she walked up next to Rachel.

"This is bad," the diva said, holding up a box. "This is very, very bad. No, this is worse than bad!"

"I don't get it," the cheerleader said as she took another bite of the granola bar. "It's an empty box of Christmas lights."

"No, Autumn, it's not just an empty box of Christmas lights!" Rachel exasperated, throwing the box back into the dumpster. She grabbed Autumn's arm and dragged her out of the ally behind Carmel High School and down the streets of Lima.

"Where are we going?" Autumn asked.

"We're taking a little field trip."

****

After going all over Lima to put the pieces together on what Vocal Adrenaline was doing, Rachel and Autumn knew they had a big problem on their hands.

"Guys, we have a serious problem," Rachel said as she and Autumn rushed into the choir room. "Autumn and I have been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline."

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie asked.

"No, not at all," said Autumn. "Well, probably. Whatever. Anyway, what we figured out. Rachel rooted the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and she found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights."

"Oh no," Tina said with an uneasy look.

"Which led us to Joelle Fabrics," Rachel added. "I asked them about red Chantilly lace, and they were sold out!"

"Oh sweet Jesus," Mercedes gasped.

"Oh my," Kurt breathed. "They're doing Gaga."

"That's it, it's over," Mercedes said, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"Exactly!" Rachel agreed.

"We should have guessed it," said Kurt. "They're going full out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them!"

"What's up with this Gaga dude?" Puck asked. "He dresses weird, right? Like Bowie?"

"Lady Gaga is a woman!" Kurt snapped. "She's only the biggest pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary pushing. The most theatrical performer of our generation. She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners."

"That's true," said Brittany.

"It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage," said Artie. "It's a brilliant move. She's perfect for them."

"Now hold on a second," said Mr. Schue. "We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals. This week, your assignment... Gaga."

****

While cleaning her room, Autumn came across a notebook she kept last year when her eating disorder was at its worst. Flipping through the pages, she realized she had become an entirely different person. She wasn't happy, and all her thoughts were fixated on food, and not in the healthy way.