Memories, Scars and Survival: High School Years

Chapter 3 - Einar

Dad let Eirik drive us to the game for his driver's education hours. It was an uneventful drive. Not once did dad question Eirik's memory of what cars passed us or what the people driving looked like. He would always ask me questions like that and yell at me if I didn't know.

The arena was near Northern Michigan University and we were playing our rivals from the other side of Marquette. Once there, I went to the top of the bleachers. With dad being the head coach, we were there far earlier than anyone else from the team.

So I sat alone and waited while playing games on my phone. The varsity team was playing before us. I could hear Coach Francis yelling from our school's bench. I tried not to look up at him. My life would be amazing if only I never have to see or hear him again. That's what I told myself, at least.

I heard my name and searched the bleachers for the source. Liz, Noah's older sister, was walking up the bleachers toward me.

The scent of her flowery perfume filled my nose. "Mind if I sit with you until my friends get here?"

"Sure."

She smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm alright," I said.

Her eyes pierced mine, trying to discover my secrets. My heart raced as I glanced back and forth between her and the game. The eyes are the windows to the soul and if she looks long enough, she will see everything my dad's doing to me.

She eventually turned away and gazed out at the game. "I've never thanked you for Noah."

Confused, I looked back at her. "What did I do?"

"Don't be modest," she said, looking into my eyes. "You helped him talk again."

"Well, he could always talk," I said, uncomfortable with the idea I did anything.

"Yes, but for over three years, he didn't."

"Well, I'm not sure I did anything."

"You don't know how much it means having him speak to us again," she said.

She moved closer to hug me. At first, I flinched. But she didn't notice and wrapped her arms around me. After hesitating, I leaned into her and hugged back. It felt so nice to be held.

The desire to cry and confess everything to her overwhelmed me. Thankfully, it ended before I did it. After her friends arrived and she left, I thought about that night at Noah's.

"I want to kill myself," I blurted while in his room playing video games. I had to blurt it to make sure I didn't stop myself.

Noah paused the game and turned to me. "Please don't leave me too."

I felt a chill spread across by body as he spoke. His voice was soft but clear. There was no sign he hadn't spoken in years. The sound of his voice filled my chest with such happiness. I was the first person he spoke to since his mother passed away in a car accident.

Staring into his eyes, I felt his sadness, and it filled me with shame for making him feel that way.

"Please," he begged me.

I nodded. "Alright."

He looked away and restarted the game. I continuing studying his face. Freckles covered his cheeks and up to his temples. They were very light and beautiful.

I attempted to count them before, but stopped for fear he would notice me looking too long. His brownish blonde hair came down to his ears. Glancing back to his stunning green eyes, they shifted in his head to glance at me.

"Will you continue speaking?"

"You can never leave me," he said.

"Agreed", I said excitedly, and hugged him.

A few minutes passed before I heard his sister in her room. I bet him that if I won the current game, he had to tell his sister he loved her. After winning, I dragged him from his bed and knocked on her door. When we entered, he went up to her and said it.

She flung her arms around him, and they hugged. She looked so happy and it filled me with so much pleasure that I witnessed it.