Memories, Scars and Survival: High School Years

Chapter 7 - Einar

I woke up to being pushed out of the ambulance. The light and noise of the hospital were too much when we first entered. "So much white!" I exclaimed, covering my eyes and getting a headache.

Once in a room, the lighting was better, or just darker. I closed my eyes and heard many people talking around me. It was making me dizzy and scared.

A male voice spoke close to me. "Hello Einar, I'm Doctor Simmons."

I opened my eyes, but too much light penetrated them again. I flinched back, but the collar prevented me from turning my head. "The light."

"Sorry. Can you tell me about what brought you here?" he asked.

I sensed the light turn off and opened my eyes. He became more clear over a few seconds and I could make out that he looked to be in his thirties. "I remember falling, but I don't remember hitting the ground."

"Do you know what made you fall?" his lips moved.

I caught myself almost telling him my dad hit me in the head. "I've been dizzy lately and been walking into things. Maybe I tripped."

"Einar, I need you to be honest with me. I need to know so I can treat you in the best possible way," he said.

"I just can't," I said.

"If you are in danger, we can help. But we can't help if you don't ask."

No one will help me. At least, that's what dad always said. "I don't believe you."

"What don't you believe?" he asked.

"No one will help me."

"Son, sometimes people who love us hurt us. Sometimes those people tell us lies to protect themselves."

Tears came to my eyes as I tried again to turn away. "Lies are truths until proven otherwise. If the truth is a lie, that's amazing. But if the lie is true, that's unbearable. Wait, I've confused myself."

"I understand," he said.

I turned my eyes to look into his. "Sorry, but I doubt it."

"No one deserves to be attacked. Not even if they are gay."

I looked away, no longer able to make eye contact. "It will ruin my family."

"That's not your responsibility. But it is your responsibility to help yourself. For me to help you, I need to know where to look. People with head trauma can sometimes fall asleep and never wake up," he said.

I wanted to cry. I really don't want to die. But I can't tell on dad or he will kill me too. Maybe I could tell him but not say it was dad. "Ok, well someone, and I won't say who, hit me in the right temple with a golf club. After, I remember getting up off the ground without remembering falling."

"Have you had any other trauma to your body recently?" he asked.

I laughed. "Define recently?"

"Let's go with all of it then," he said.

"I'm still not going to say who it was, but they hit me in my arms, chest, legs, and nose repeatedly."

"Do you have any pain or numbness anywhere? Or any problems I should know about?" he asked.

"I have trouble breathing out of my nose. My arms and legs fall asleep constantly. And I zone out all the time," I said.

"How about sleep problems?" he asked.

"I have extreme nightmares where I become paralyzed and cannot escape. In the dark, posters on the wall come to life and attack me. I also see things crawl out of plug sockets," I said.

"I am going to order a CT Scan and several x-rays. I will also give you some medicine through your IV to help you," he said.

For the first time, I realized there was a tube in my arm. I don't remember them putting it in. Maybe they did it in the ambulance. "Are you going to call the police?"

"Yes."

"When will my mom be here?" I asked.

"She is probably here already. Someone will bring them back soon."

He left, and I closed my eyes. I woke to a nurse pushing me out of the room. She told me we had to get the tests done.

There was no way I was going to remember all the twists and turns we made. We stopped outside the x-ray room. She pushed me in and helped me move onto the table. My neck was still in the collar.

They took x-rays of my chest, arms, and legs. When complete, they helped me back into my bed and pushed me back out and down some more halls. We ended in a large room with different areas curtained off. She told me somebody was already inside, but I would be next. She left me alone.

I seemed like an eternity until a nurse came out from the back, pushing a woman on a bed into a sectioned area. She told the woman a nurse would be here to bring her back to her room.

She came and maneuvered me into the room she just left. An enormous machine took up most of the room. She assisted me in getting up onto the platform. Once laying down, I thought she would remove to collar, but they left it on.

Soon the scan was running. I thought it would be loud, but it wasn't. In fact, I fell asleep again. The nurse woke me to get back into the bed. Waiting in the exterior room, I fell asleep again until yet another new nurse came in to push me back to my room.

Dad and Eirik were sitting. Mom was standing against the wall and as soon as the nurse left, she came over and held my hand. Even with dad there, I felt safe now.