Memories, Scars and Survival: High School Years

authors note

This is my fifth and final draft.

Thank you for reading my story. It's very close to my heart. Everything Einar's dad did to him, mine did to me, and for the same reasons.

The only difference is, my dad was never found out until I spoke up after he died of a brain tumor.

I've already written my memoir which names and speaks about the real Coach Francis in my life. But I'm not ready to tell the full authentic story yet. Someday I will with the help of my amazing psychologist.

One reason I'm unsure of bringing out the full story is because after Thirteen years of beatings and over six concussions, it left me unsure what was real and wasn't.

My idea for this story was to write the fantasies in my mind I spent years upon years telling myself could've happened if I came forward. I've laid in bed for months all day, writing several versions of stories in my head word for word.

While I want to move on, I wanted to tell this story in particular because while I know it's hard to read, it's important for people to know kids like me exist. I guess I also hope monsters like my dad will read it and see what they are doing to their own kids because they aren't who they dreamed their kids would be.

But the largest reason I told this story, in this way, was I wanted to show people what the process of the legal system, medical treatment, and psychological treatment all looked like. I did a lot of research into how it all goes down when the hospital suspects abuse and up to sentencing.

I wanted to tell a story so people who are in similar situations can see what it's like, what the interviews look like, and many other things. I strived to show it only from the perspective of what a victim might see and know as it's happening.

There will be a sequel. And I hope to publish my full story someday. Even if no one is interested in that one. Even if no one can be prosecuted anymore, I feel the need to tell it like it was.

...

As an aside, as a survivor who struggles a lot with the financial situations of seeking and paying for medical and psychological care on their own, it's my dream to use my writing to help. I don't know how to follow this dream since I'm still trying to heal myself. But it's my dream to start a foundation to help pay for mental health therapy for as many other victims of abuse as I can.

I know on TV and online, there are those who think we keep the secret until the person is rich enough to give us millions, but I don't believe that for a second. Even in my thirties, I still struggle to speak about what happened when I was seven. I still can't say the name of the man in the same line as saying what he did.

I think, for me, and for probably all the others, we just want to get back to our lives and we shouldn't have to pay for what the monsters did to us. I realize there's no way to know how much help one person will need to get back to where they were before the abuse, but I intend to help.

Once I get published, I intend to use some of my earnings to create this organization and help as many people as I can.

I'm already planning the sequel to this novel and possibly a trilogy. However, my largest project is my other book on here which I already have over nine novels plotted and I think about more all the time. That is my dream series and I hope my writing helps and brings others enjoyment so I can help as many victims as I can.