Memories, Scars and Survival: High School Years

Chapter 13 - Eirik

After giving over the notebook, I sat in the corner of Einar's room, expecting Mr. Clark to appear. They never did. Later on, mom took me home while grandma stayed with Einar.

Once home, mom asked me to pack some things for Einar since he will stay in the hospital for at least the rest of the week. I pack some clothes, but I also packed the portable DVD player and his one hundred disc binder. I put it all in mom's small suitcase that she uses for her beauty products when we go on vacation.

That night, mom made breakfast for dinner. After cleaning up, she went up to her room. I worried she might be upset and tiptoed up the stairs and stood outside her room. The lights were off and I wondered if she went to sleep already. I wanted to make sure she was alright, but I was too nervous to bother her.

While mom made dinner, I went through all my homework. None of it was too difficult. Then I came to English and the poetry project. We all had to write a single poem and read it to the class.

I'm not good at poetry. I thought since I'm gay, I should be. It seems like all the other gay guys out there are creative in some way, but I'm not. Mom is a talented painter, Einar is a wonderful writer, but I'm nothing. Maybe I take after dad in that area.

I would like to believe my talents just lie elsewhere, like with sports. But, Einar's great at both, why am I not as well? I guess I'll stick with my normal trick.

I went on my phone and looked up some poems. As I sat there searching through them, I tried to find one I could change the words to make it mine. While I've done this before, I always feel guilty.

Mom called me to dinner before I found anything interesting. Dad was awake, and we all ate together at the table. It felt strange to be eating as a family without Einar.

Like normal, we didn't talk at the table. Dad was watching the television in the family room from his chair. Mom could also see it, but there was a wall blocking my side of the table.

Dad finished eating and went upstairs. Mom began washing the dishes, but I stopped her and let her rest. When I finished, she was already asleep on the couch.

In the morning, I convinced mom to let me skip school and be with Einar. I wanted to be there when Mr. Clark came back. I sat around while mom was on the phone with her brother. He lived near Detroit.

Dad came home when we were about to leave. "Why isn't he at school?"

"He can miss some time to be with his brother in the hospital. Why aren't you there? You were supposed to wait with him." Her voice was rising near the end. Here we go.

His voice kept raising as well. "They took him for another scan. He was third in line, so it was going to be over an hour. I'm not sitting in an empty room when I could be here sleeping. One of us needs to work to pay for all of this." By the time he finished, he was shouting. Why can't they seem to get along?

"You are a terrible father to Einar!" They were both fully shouting now. She was always yelling at him about his treatment of Einar. Not that I'm taking his side.

"He is fine in the hospital. Why are you always protecting him? I'm your husband and we were together before they ever came along." I love my father, but even I know you never get between a mother and her children.

A loud banging came from the kitchen. I jumped and looked over. Mom threw a pan across the kitchen and it was on the floor in front of the stove. Dad was standing by the back door wall next to her. So, she didn't throw it at him.

She stormed out to the garage, ordering me to come. I followed, glad to be leaving. She was silent most of the ride.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally.

"It's ok, mom. I love you." I hate when they fight. It's common for kids to blame themselves when their parents fight. Or, at least, that's what it says online. But in this case, Einar isn't wrong to believe they were fighting about him.

When we got there, I grabbed the small suitcase and wheeled it in behind me. I wondered if security would check it, but they didn't. They just want to know who's coming in.

"We brought you in a surprise, honey," mom said.

I pulled out the DVD player and plugged it in next to him. Then I took out the movies and put them on the table next to him. "I brought your big folder." He has two smaller ones for his television series collection.

"Thanks," he said.

He picked a Jeff Dunham special. I sat next to him with mom and we watched it together. Partway through, there was a knock at the door. Mr. Clark came and asked to see mom. She seemed surprised, but got up and walked out.

"Did he talk to you already?" I asked.

He looked into my eyes. "Yes."

"Did you tell him the truth?"

"Yes."

I squeezed his hand. "Good. I'm Sorry I failed you."

He looked into my eyes again. "It's not your fault."

I leaned over and hugged him. "Whatever happens, I'm here for you."

I sat down again. "How long have you known?" he asked me.

"I found your journal last month," I said.

"You gave it to Mr. Clark," He said.

I looked down and away. "Yes, I hope you're not mad."

"I just don't want it to be my fault that the family breaks up," he said.

"No matter what, it's not your fault."

He went back to watching the movie. "So you know I'm gay?"

"So am I," I said.

"Really?" He asked, looking at me.

"Yes, we really are identical," I said.

"I don't want people to know," he said.

"Ok."

We kept watching other movies until mom came back in. She went right to Einar and hugged him. I watched tears fall from her eyes. "He will never hurt you again," she said.

There was a lot of back and forth where she was blaming herself and he was telling her she didn't know. We didn't speak again until Dr. Hendricks returned. I was wondering what would happen with dad the whole time.

"Hello Einar, we got the results of your x-rays from Monday. I want to go over the results with you and your mother." He waited for mom and Einar to nod. "Einar's eighth and ninth ribs under his left arm were broken in the past. They are healed now. With child abuse cases with this amount of reported events, the police will request a complete physical and body scans. Based on what the detective has already shared, the broken ribs were most likely from the kick to your chest with the steel-toed boots."

I watched Einar close. He was looking in the doctor's direction, but I could tell he was looking past him. I wondered if he would zone out.

"Before we order some tests, I want to talk with you," he said, looking at mom, "about anything you might have noticed. Any odd behaviors or anything you can think of."

Mom talked about the dizzy spells he gets when standing. I told him about him zoning out and how sometimes, even if I shake him, he won't respond. He asked Einar about these events. He asked multiple questions, trying to squeeze out as much information as possible.

"Well, I don't want to speculate. Since he's suffered trauma to both his head and chest, he should see a cardiologist and a neurologist. It sounds like it could be syncope, but his heart or brain could cause it. Either way, he will need to wait until his brain heals from his current issues. He should also see an eye specialist. You can suffer from eye problems even with 20/20 vision."

Einar nodded, and the doctor continued again. "For now, I would like to get CT-scans of his chest, abdomen, and upper and lower extremities. We will also get some EMG testing of his extremities as well."

"When?" mom asked.

"I will put in the order. We might need to do them at different times, depending on the schedule."

"Thank you doctor," mom said. He shook mom's hand and left.