The Assassins Weakness

Blanket Of Despair

I did what Enzo said. I slept. I slept the entirety of the time we remained in the air. I don't know how much longer we flew before we touched back down in New York. When I heard footsteps heading toward the room I was in I woke. Yet, I pretended to sleep. I kept my breathing even and my body curled as I heard the door open and a person approach me.

It took every piece of my concentration not to tense up as I felt a hand reach out to me. A hand that gently caressed my hair.

"May, it's time to get up."

I opened my sleepy eyes to peer at Enzo and the tender look in his eyes. I let my face fall as if I was remembering everything that happened. I said nothing as I crawled from the bed and followed him out of the room. I grabbed my bag and kept my head down while exiting the large plane.

Enzo, Lorenzo, and I wordlessly climbed into a black SUV. Lorenzo in the front with the driver and Enzo and I spaced out in the back. The silence that hung in the air for the entire drive back to the mansion was suffocating. The tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Still, I did not break it as we clambered out and walked into the mansion. I simply nodded to Enzo when he had told me to go unpack and rest.

I didn't bother to unpack, but I did rest. I remember those years before I turned off my heart. The years after my family handed me over until after I murdered someone else's family. I would pull that despair, that dark emptiness, back to me. I would wear it like a cloak. Let them believe they have broken me.

It was hours later when I heard the handle of the door being turned. I again pretended as though it didn't rouse me from sleep. I heard the door softly click shut followed by footsteps and the clinking of things on a tray.

"May? I've brought you some food, darling. I thought maybe after you ate and showered you'd like to come bake with me." Fran's sweet, motherly voice enveloped me.

"Thanks, Fran." I muttered into my pillow before burrowing deeper in.

"I'm glad you're back sweetheart," was all she said as she exited the room.

Once she left I quickly got out of bed and stretched. Resting this much in one day was making my body feel as tightly strung as a bow ready to be fired. If I am to play this part I won't be able to keep my figure. I could still exercise in secret at night, but then my body wouldn't wither and wallow like it needs to.

I pushed the food around and took small bites here and there as if I couldn't stomach the food. Once I'd accomplished that I showered and brought the tray back down to the kitchen. I remember how hard it felt to move my limbs back long ago. So each move, each step, each breath, I made sure to do slowly like I was struggling. I kept my face neutral.

I could see worry in Fran's eyes when I set the tray down and scraped the majority of the food she'd brought me into the trash. I let her concerned gaze follow me for the next two hours as we worked side by side in a comfortable silence.

I saw her suck in a breath and open her mouth as if she'd speak multiple times. I could tell it was killing her not to ask what was wrong or what happened. Thankfully, she didn't. I think it might bother me to lie to her. Regardless, I would. I had to.

After she'd gone back and forth to the dining room with dinner and dessert we cleaned up side by side. Once we finished I tried to head back to the room I was staying in but she stepped in my path.

"I'm here, sweetheart, whatever you need."

Her arms were thrown around me in a bone crushing hug. When I tried to pull away after a normal amount of time her arms only tightened. I let her hold me then. Let her hold me for what must have been minutes before she finally released her grip.

"Thanks, Fran," I let my voice crack. It wasn't that hard to do.

I felt her worried gaze burn into my back as I retreated from the room. I'm glad I slept so much today. I don't think I'd be able to sleep tonight even if I tried. Showing up to training tomorrow after a night without sleeping would make this all the more convincing. It was hard to refute eye bags and utter exhaustion on someone.

When I returned to the room I was staying in I pulled a book from the shelf. I had to occupy myself somehow. I used to love to read. Before. I don't remember the last time I read anything I wasn't instructed to.

Before I opened the book and allowed myself this temporary escape I quickly sent a text to Dimitri. I let him know I was changing tactics and hoping it would knock down the Italian walls. I received a message back quickly.

"It better"

No sooner had I opened the book than footsteps echoed outside my room. A sharp knock resounded seconds later. A little sigh of frustration escaped me before I let the heavy blanket of despair settle onto my shoulders. I schooled my features and echoed a quiet come in.

Enzo stepped through the doorway, eyes sweeping the room until they landed on me. He took in my form curled up in a cushioned chair. I took in the handful of granola bars and chips in his arms.

"Fran said you barely ate anything." Straight to the point.

"I wasn't hungry," my voice sounded weak.

"You didn't eat anything today, how are you not hungry?"

I replied with a simple shrug.

Enzo stalked across the room before unceremoniously dumping the snacks onto my lap. He said nothing else as he turned and walked out.