The Assassins Weakness

Maybes

That tender something that had passed in our kisses before was a spark compared to this flame. This flame that was burning me from the inside out. His hands were so gentle on me it made my chest ache. God, it felt good.

"May," Enzo groaned out when I flicked my tongue against his.

Before I could respond he nipped at my bottom lip, making me gasp. My whole body was awash in sensation as one arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer and still not close enough. His other arm went around my shoulders, hand tangling in my hair.

That hand gave a gentle tug. I moaned at the sensation. Every movement of our lips caused my still healing nose to sting, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. All I cared about was his hard body pressed so tight against mine. How perfect we fit together like this.

Even though I was burning Enzo kept the pace of our kiss slow. This wasn't wild, tear your clothes off, like I was used to. This was sensual, caring. There was still an intensity that stole my breath away. Especially when I felt something hard against my lower stomach.

"Don't tell me you come packing even fresh out of the shower," I joked breathlessly between kisses.

Suddenly Enzo froze. Our lips still pressed together but unmoving. Then, he laughed. A shoulder shaking laugh.

"Christ, May. Way to ruin a moment," he muttered against my lips once he managed to stop.

"I had to take a break anyway. Breathing is kind of necessary," I told him with a smile.

"Hmm, but it doesn't feel as important as kissing you sometimes," he whispered.

The black shriveled excuse of a heart fluttered inside my chest.

"I still don't understand," I admitted to him.

"Neither do I, Bella. I never believed in love at first sight until my first sight of you," he confessed.

"Enzo," was all I could manage to say.

The Don of the Italian mafia just practically admitted he loved me. I should be ecstatic that things were going so well. All I felt was dread and guilt. I know I have to use this, but I don't want to.

"You don't have to say anything, May," he breathed.

Our lips still brushed with every word spoken. Our faces so close together it was impossible to look into his eyes. Which made my next words much easier to say.

"I-I care for you," I admitted. "The things that I've felt toward you, I've never felt with anyone else. I just don't know, don't understand, love."

"I know, Bella," he whispered. "I can show you, teach you, if you'll let me."

"Can I-is it okay to ask for a favor?" I questioned, taking a step back so I could look into his eyes.

We still stood in each others arms.

"Anything," he said without hesitation.

"Can you buy John from the Volkov's?"

Enzo's face fell.

"That would make you happy?" He asked.

I nodded my head. The truth was that it would make me free. If John and I were both under the Esponito's protection maybe we could escape. Maybe we could be happy. Maybe we could be free. Things I never dared to dream of before.

I might feel some guilt about other assassins being hurt or killed, but not enough to stop this new plan forming in my mind. As long as John and I were here I didn't have to report back to Dimitri. Maybe I could really unlearn his influence. Maybe I could trust Zahra and heal. Maybe I could let Enzo love me. Maybe I could learn to love him back.

"Okay, I'll try," Enzo said as he stepped back away from my grasp.

He was avoiding looking into my eyes. The tent in his towel I felt against me earlier was deflating as I watched. My brows furrowed in confusion, what was wrong?

"Should we watch that movie now?" I asked him.

"I think.....it's best if you head back to your room," Enzo said.

"Did I do something wrong?" My voice sounded small to my own ears.

Enzo flinched like I'd smacked him. He sucked in a deep breath before exhaling it all at once.

"No, Bella. You did nothing wrong," he told me softly.

"Then why aren't we watching a movie anymore?" I challenged.

"I'm tired. I need to get some sleep and I'll reach out to Dimitri in the morning," Enzo deflected.

"I could stay," I offered quietly. "John playing with my hair always helped me sleep. I could do it for you."

Enzo's eyes snapped closed. He looked like he was hanging on by a thread. All of his expressions were suddenly so clear to me. Is it because now that I understood his feelings I understood him? Or was it because he was done hiding behind his expressionless mask?

"That's not necessary, May," he said.

"I didn't ask if it was necessary," I pointed out.

"May, just - not tonight, okay?" He tried.

"I know I don't understand love, Enzo. Even so, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to communicate. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" I pressed.

"Nothings wrong, May. I just don't want to be around you right now," he defended.

I watched his eyes and his face. That was the truth he just told. He didn't want to be around me. I've heard love was fickle but there's no way for it to switch off so fast. The switch happened when I mentioned John.

"Are you mad I asked for John to come?" I tried to press once more.

"I'm not mad," Enzo told me.

"You're something," I argued.

"Please, May let's just leave it alone," he pleaded.

I crossed my arms over my chest and stared him down. He tried to meet my eyes but they only stayed for a matter of seconds before skittering away.

"Fine, I'm hurt. I finally told you how I felt and your first response was to ask me to help John," he snapped.

"Why does that hurt?" I asked.

"Because," he exploded. "The second you knew I cared enough to do you a favor you were happy to use me for it. Which, fine. It's how's you were raised and how you were taught to think. I can understand that part. I'm almost glad you're finally asking for something you want. It's just....I wish you wanted me."

His voice was quiet by the time he uttered the last sentence.

"Enzo," I whispered, taking a step to close the space between us.

I moved a hand to push through his hair. His eyes closed while his face twisted in pain.

"I do want you," I promised. "I just-"

I bit my lip. If I uttered my next words everything could come crashing down. I have trusted one person, and one person only in my life. John. If I open my mouth and speak the words on the tip of my tongue I will be trusting Enzo. It's fucking terrifying.

"If John is here," I continued in a whisper, "then Dimitri has nothing against me."

"Nothing against you," Enzo muttered.

I stared into his eyes, willing him to understand what I was admitting. Willing him to realize I just put my life in his hands.

"You're a rat," he said, monotone.

I swallowed hard and nodded.