Villainess Rules of Survival

Why?

Anaisarwen Isla

As I was not... welcome on that party. Oh, should I say I was not fitting myself there.

Wala naman din ako doon na mapapala, lalo na sa mga taong 'yon.

"You know what, when I was smaller I wonder if I was an efficient child." Panimula ko habang patuloy na dinadaanan ang pathwalk sa garden. As usual , when I was too tired on working things, I found myself here, as always.

Nanatiling tahimik na nakasunod si Riverous sa akin, ngunit ramdam ko ang pakikinig at pagdamay nito.

Tumigil ako sa isang upuan at umupo bago ituloy ang sinasabi ko. I patted the blank side of the bench to inform him that he can sit beside me.

"I study hard. I learn from the hardest way. I persevere and be patient."

"But it was tiring.." I look up to the sky, when it totally reminded me of my mother.

"What do I get from the efforts I've made? Disappointment. Rejection. Betrayal. Pain." My eyes sparkled for a moment which made me stopped there for a minute. Oh, drop dead I almost tear up.

Gosh, so drama.

"What hurts the most? I feel like I lost my self. Drowning myself to death for the betterment of those people who I don't know if they can reciprocate my feelings." I smiled then chuckles a little.

Remembering my past self and seeing myself again on that situation right now with different feelings is totally driving me nuts.

"Oh my, I'm sorry for being this emotional. That's not my reputation." I don't know, but I can tell that I can just let it out on this Young Duke who's beside me.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, My Princess. I'm more than glad that you can express yourself to me." Napatango naman ako sa maamong pagsagot nito sa'kin.

"In my opinion, you just wanted to give what you can give however, eventhough you're not totally asking for some exchange, you're hoping and waiting to be validated. That's.. hard actually, Your Highness." Kimi nitong sabi.

Napangiti naman ako nang malumanay.

"It's nothing, because I'm numb by the pain but, of course! It stings and aches me anyway, I'm going through it."

Kapag nakamit ko na gusto ko gawin.

"May I ask some question, Your Highness?" He carefully asked for permission. As he might felt that he can go overboard with it.

"You may, as you please. I already open this to you, and that's totally fine."

It's a new discovery for me.

I can tell this to him without having any restrict. Since I don't know, baka mamaya sumabog na ako sa galit haha.

"Your Highness, do you despise or hate them?"

Hate? Probably.

Despise? Of course that f'cking pick me girl, major yes.

"Maybe? Or maybe I'm just getting tired of the shits and bullcraps-- oh, sorry, mind my manners."

I shook my head lightly. What a brassy attitude my dear self, huwag muna magkalat.

"My Lord, I totally have a blast day and I can't thank you enough for your wonderful accompany. Let's part this way and-" I stopped and smiled. "Please tell to my family that  I'm doing well." He was reluctant at first to let me go on my own but I was quick enough to leave.

He didn't follow through , napangiti ako, atleast he's not dense that I wanted to be on my own.

I got on my way to my mother's palace.

Even if I was aware that this palace is only given to my mother when they got married, it was rarely used. However, I can feel the essence of my mother here. As if she was still there.

I wish I did come back in time when she was still here. I wonder, can I altered the fate of my mother?

I smiled at myself bitterly, I guess not, because time didn't let me go on that way, because, it was hard on me and for her. It cannot be helped.

I look at the small picture of my mother and yeah- the father in bed table.

Her soft and charming smile was radiating to me through this photo. Meanwhile he was looking fine there, but not wearing a smile even in this portrait.

My mother-- I immediately hide myself somewhere and hide my presence. Someone's coming.

"..." a pair of footsteps can be heard. It's coming close to my mother's room. What?

Intruder? Thieves?

I alerted myself. They can't do this to my mother's sacred place. Aah- no, I can only sense presence.

I can't hear anything anymore until the door of this room opened. I almost gasped. My heart is pounding to the extreme rate and I'm losing my patience here.

It's just a minutes of silence when I heard a sob, pinipigilan nito ang pag-iyak base sa naririnig ko.

Is it a ghost?

Shit, no, stupid Isla, I just heard a footsteps.

It's a hurtful snivel.

"..."

There's no other sound can be heard but a whimper cries of someone here at my mother's room.

"mon chéri.." I can't understand the words he utter but I can feel he's calling my mother, in a desperate way.

"my Isla... I.. need you.. I can't beg enough for your forgiveness. I cannot erase it, I'm sorry, I love you.." nangunot ang noo ko. What the hell? I can't fully hear what he's saying.

And why he seems to be begging and hopelessly hoping something on my mother?

"It's been 4 years.. it's been four years since I've lost you, my love."

Why?

Why it sounds hurt?

Who is it?