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What exactly is healing, is there a process, a guideline I must follow, a path already made.

What exactly is healing, it's supposed to be forgetting who hurt you, right? It's been years, I saw her today and I ran because I couldn't confront it, stand it, feel myself break.

What exactly is healing, I should be healed, safe, healthy, whole, but I just feel so scattered and broken all over the place. What exactly is healing, what have I been doing these past years, not healing? I want to heal, want to forget the pain I was caused but God it's embedded in my memory.

What exactly is healing, I'm asking, What exactly is healing! I'm yelling, please tell me what healing is, Tell me how to heal how to move on how to not be stuck in the past.

Tell me how to heal how to let go because I'm so fucking hurt, in so much pain, I lost the people I love and they don't care, am I that forgettable, they don't care, how easy is it to forget me. Tell me how to heal, anybody please.

December 4, 2022.

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