26

7 4 0
                                    


I have so much anger and hatred bottled inside me, and I fear -- and hope --  that one day it will burst open, it will blow!.

It's actually a two-way thing.

When the anger and hatred explodes, all the heaviness in my heart will dissolve, it will be gone with it, I would finally feel light. On the other -- sad -- hand, When it explodes, people will get hurt, a lot of people, because this anger and hatred was put in me by certain people, and when I finally explode, the people who will catch the brunt of the fire might not be the ones who put it in me.

The day it would explode is the day everything will change, the day I will change forever. I have a feeling it's the breaking and changing point I've being anticipating, that day will either break me or make me. On that day I would be set free of my anger and hatred --- but at what costs? ---, and sadly, I will lose people -- the ones who took the brunt, got burnt, and couldn't stay -- hopefully, I don't lose myself.

I'm a ticking bomb waiting to explode. I'm a hurricane. I'm a wildfire. I'm a raging storm. I'm an aggressive wind. I'm a sinking ship that's burning. I'm a wanderess. A maniac. A Psychopath. I'm doomed. I'm black, dark, the dark --- I fear --- would consume my soul, if it hasn't already, I wish I can go back to the beginning when I wasn't this, but I can't.

I have so much anger and hatred inside me.

______ ellie a. o.

Something Mending -- VOL 1Where stories live. Discover now