Something Mending -- VOL 1

01

Broken.

First, it's pain, then you feel nothing, just numbness, empty ness, you won't feel anything even if you try to. You won't be sad or happy, you would be numb, that's it, that's Brokenness, no Brokenness beyond that.

You smile but the smile doesn't reflect in your eyes because it ain't a true smile, you laugh but it's cut short by your sadness, you had to do it and no one understands.

Everyone is blaming you, telling you how immature in love you are, everyone telling you how feeble your heart is, they don't know what you are going through, you get a lot of sympathy from some friends, but we all know sympathy isn't going to do anything.

He feels like a victim, a victim of love which he truly is, the curse inflicted on humanity, Love, but no matter how love breaks us, it's still the only thing that can make, that can heal us. He knows he is bad at love but you can't blame him for trying, maybe it's high time he stops trying.

He feels nobody hurt her like he did but nobody loves her like he do, he just want her to be happier. He has decided he is going to take a break on Love, a long break, maybe on life inclusive, because the shit hurts everytime he gives it a shot. He just want to be happy, the happiness comes though, but life ain't fair, it teaches you good things ain't meant to last, at least when it's not time.

All he wants to do is apologize, to make her see he didn't mean it, to make her see that life happens, to make her understand why he had to do it, maybe there are right after all, maybe he is just immatured at heart, maybe he is just feeble-minded or, maybe not, either way, people like him don't date anyone.

Right now, he is so messed up, if he is told that he is loved he won't believe. After too many heartbreak I Love You sounds more like a threat.

He doesn't even love himself, he hates himself for ending things with her, he hates himself for falling in love with her, he hates life for fucking him up, he hates shit for happening, he hates himself more because he is the protagonist in this curse!, but he hopes that one day love will remember.

He wish he can turn back the hands of time, he will keep her number saved because he hopes one day she'll have reasons to call him number. Good reasons.

Presently, He's Broken and needs repair, and only her can heal him, but she's gone, so he remains broken till she returns.

Will she?.

_____ ellie a.o.