Fields of Lavenders

12

The tables have now turned, kung kanina. Ako ang nagmamaneho ng sasakyan, ngayon sya ang gumagawa non.

And just like before, both of us didn't want to say anything. Good thing hindi ako masyadong lasing, so may preno pa yung bibig ko kahit papaano. I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want to tell her what I'm feeling deep down. Lalo na't lasing ako.

"Goodness Ara what were you thinking," I heard her mutter, making me scoff.

"As if you care," I whispered, loud for her to hear.

"Yes I do, I do care. How many times do I need to repeat myself?" She asked, raising her tone.

"Oh please," I whispered, tired with her reasons.

She stopped the car, I could feel her stare but I didn't reciprocate it. Instead, I stared at the road. Watching the cars pass by.

"Ara-"

"If your going to use the fact that you used to be my teacher as an excuse for all of your actions, please don't." I cut her off. "I'm sick and tired of that excuse." I coldly said.

"What the hell was that? Drinking, dancing, with a random guy really?" She questioned. "Since when did you learn to drink? Have you lost your sanity-"

"Yes!" I yelled. "I lost it, a long long time ago." I said.

She massages her head out of frustration. "Goodness ara-"

"You wanna know why I'm like this?" I asked before pointing at her. "You, it's all your fault. You made me like this! You made me loose my own sanity," I said trying to hold my tears back.

"Honey-"

"Don't you dare call me that!" I yelled. "Don't you know how hard it is for me? Forgetting about you, moving on? And then you come back eight years after acting like nothing happened?" I question.

"Ara-"

"Ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. Pero bakit ang dali para sa'yo? Ang daling magpakita, tapos mawawala ka nanaman ulit." I said, wiping my tears.

"And you think ikaw lang ang nahihirapan?" She asked after a while.

"Me too Ara, It sucks to see you with someone. Kahit kaibigan mo lang yon, It sucks to be distant from you. So I tried, again and again to get closer with you. But you kept distancing yourself from me-"

"Why would I keep myself around you when your engaged-"

"And who said I was?" She cuts me off.

I stopped, this time. I look at her with extreme confusion. But instead, she smiles and cups my cheek.

"I'm not, I'm not anymore." She smiled.

My brain still wasn't able to process that information, she lets go and rested her hand on my thigh before she starts the car again and continues driving.

I remained silent once again the whole ride, not minding her hand that carefully caresses my thigh until we got to my condo. She leaves the drivers seat and opens the door for me, I stood up without saying anything. It's not like I'm drunk or what, medyo lang but I can still stand up naman.

When we reach the elevator, my head is already spinning. I guess the alcohol's effecting now. The elevator doors opened and we head inside. But upon entering, I felt my self get dizzy.

I hold on to the rail until I felt someone's arm encircle my waist, holding me firm.

"It's okay, I'm here." She whispered, enough to make me lean on her shoulder. Absorbing her scent.