Fields of Lavenders

31

-YSA-

I'm currently on my way sa hospital where Ara's tita and Gabriel is currently admitted. Dala-dala ang gamit na kakailanganin ni Ara because she's currently staying there until her tita wakes up and Gab is in a good condition.

The last days have been heart breaking for her, I can't even Imagine the pain she's bearing right now. And no matter how hard I try I know I won't be able to ease her pain, kaya I'm trying my best to help her and be there for her during those times. Times where she needs me the most, if before wala ako sa mga panahong iyon this time I'll make it up to her. I'll help her and heal her, we'll get through it together.

I also brought food for her dahil baka hindi pa sya kumakain, when I arrived I went first sa kwarto ni Gabriel where Jia is currently to drop her off some food. Knowing Jia baka hindi pa 'yon kumakain.

"Jia." I knock first before entering.

"Miss," she puts on a sad smile as soon as she sees me.

"I brought food, baka hindi ka nanaman kase kumain." I said then proceed to arrange the food I brought for her at the table.

"Thank you Miss." She said before I left. I went to tita's room where Ara is currently at.

"Love." I knocked on the door before entering, and there I found my girl staring at her auntie who's still sleeping.

"Kain na." I smiled and put out the food for her. Pain is still evident in her eyes and from the looks of it mukhang hindi pa maayos ang kanyang tulog.

She smiled as she eats the food I cooked for her, pero I can't help but notice as she eats my food tears slowly form in her precious eyes. I was worried right away.

"Bakit love, you want something else ba?" I asked.

"No no," she shook her head. "It's okay, I- thank you. Love." She smiled.

"Is something wrong?" I asked.

"No, no," she once again shook her head. "I just I missed your luto." She covered her pain with a smile, one I'm not convinced about. I know something's wrong, but she won't tell me.

"Whatever is wrong, you know I'm always here hm?" I hugged her and pecked a kiss on her forehead to assure her.

"Yes yes Love, and thank you for that." She smiled once more. After that niligpit ko lang ang pinag kainan namin and I allowed her to shower muna habang ako ang nagbabantay sa tita nya.

Halata namang inaantok si Ara, kaya I urged her to sleep muna. But she insists that I join her, and so, she's currently sleeping safe and sound on top of me. Her head resting on my chest as she doze off.

We stayed like that until bandang hapon nang magising si Ara from her nap, instead of watching her tita inaya nya'ko sa rooftop ng hospital to watch the sunset since it's currently 5:00 pm.

"I missed this." She whispered, admiring the view habang yakap yakap nya'ko from behind.

"I can still remember noon whenever I'd leave the school I'd send pictures of the sunset to you." I reminisced.

"Yup, paraan ko din yon para malamang out ka na." She chuckled.

"You always loved the sunset." I pointed out.

"Yes, I don't know. It gives me a sense of comfort that most people couldn't do, except for you of course." She pecked a kiss onto my forehead.

"I can still remember how I'd look into the sunset and wished to watch it with you." She said.

I happily turned around and met her eyes, those brown eyes that shines due to the sun. "Well, wish granted." I smiled.

"May isa pa'kong wish." She said.

"Hm, and what would that be?" I asked.

In a swift she turned me around and the next thing I know is something soft is onto my lips, I happily kissed her back as well, following her movements. Unlike before, her movements were slow this time. As if she's ravishing every inch of me, every minute of this moment.

After that hindi na'ko nagtagal pa, I have to go home ulit dahil kailangan ko pa silang lutuan once again. Yon ang routine ko here, I'd bring stuff and food then for dinner uuwi ulit ako to cook and to bring food for them again.

I can't help but feel something off with Ara earlier, I mean, I know she's been off the past few days due to what happened to her friend and to her tita. But her aura is just different today.

It feels like she's hiding something from me.

And so, as usual after I finished cooking I immediately went to the hospital para makakain na sila. Just like before I first went to Jia's room para hatiran sya ng pagkain.

"Hi miss," she greeted with a painful smile.

"Hello, how's Gabriel?" I asked.

"He's recovering." She said.

"That's good, Imma go to Ara's now okay? Just go there if you need anything." I smile before leaving. Suddenly she hurried outside to catch me up, my brows Immediately scruch as it's something I'm not used to.

"Yes, do you need anything?" I asked.

"No miss," she smiled. "I just wanted to eat together, with you and A-Ara." She stuttered.
"If that's okay with you po."

"Sure, come." I smiled and she walked beside me as we head onto Ara's room.But surprisingly when I went there Ara was no where to be found.

"Ara!" I called, knocking on the bathroom, assuming she's there.

No response.

I knock again, yelling a little louder this time.

Still no response.

This time I decided to open the door, and to my surprise Ara wasn't there as well. I looked out to Jia, who's now looking at me with a sad face, as if she predicted this would happen.

On the table I noticed someone that wasn't there when I went to the room earlier morning, at first I thought it's a sweater, turns out it's a cardigan. It's a pale purple cardigan with stars on the bottom that has different shades of purple.

As I was looking at the cardigan I didn't realize a note that had been placed there, I immediately grab it and opened it.

Cardigans for me has another purpose, aside from keeping you warm, it also gives the best hugs as the thick fabric envelopes your skin. And with this cardigan I hope it'll do the same to you. If you're reading this I'm probably not beside you anymore, and for that I'm sorry love. As much as I want to be by your side, to feel you, to hold you. Destiny forbids me to do so.

I know you will blame yourself because I left you but no, this one's on me. It's my fault we got to where we are today, it's my fault that the people surrounding me are now laying at the hospital battling for their lives. And I'm afraid it might happen to you too. I'm afraid that sooner or later it's you whom I'll be visiting in the hospital, it's you whom I'll mourn over.

I can't take that love, I can't Imagine seeing you in a coffin, I can't Imagine you six feet beneath me. You're my life, the moment you step foot into our classroom you became my life. And pag namatay ka baka sundan lang din kita.

And so, I did what I have to do. I'm in a safe place now love, and I hope you are too. Don't worry, now I'm gone I'm sure Mr. Ramirez won't come after you anymore, same goes to Gabriel, tita, my friends, and my loved ones, and finally, you're free narin. You've been tied to this never ending cycle of pain, fighting, and risking everything. But you deserve more than that, you deserve someone whom will love you, will actually protect you, and will not make you suffer and cry unlike what I've been doing.

And so, I want you to find that someone for me okay? I want you to be happy, to move forward, to move on, all without me. I want to see that smile on you, even when I'm not the reason behind it anymore. Please take care of yourself for me, safe skies, I love you the most.

-Ara, Sayonara.

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