Sake and Sweat: Yakuza Boy One Shots, Fluff and Scenarios (ON HOLD)

Funny People (Kida & Yuji)

Ain't a damn thing funny. A ke-ke hell ☠️

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Kida kept his posture straight and from first glance, it looked like he wasn't paying attention to anything. A passerby would just think he was looking off in a daze, uninterested in what was going on before him but Kida was watching the chubby man out of the corner of his eye... If he didn't look him directly in the eye, he wouldn't run the risk of making a face. It was impolite to stare but how could he not look? It was impossible. Once you saw it, you couldn't forget it..

"Kida... Don't."
Yuji spoke, back turned to him but still very aware of Kida's antics. Why him? Yuji knew as soon as he had tied the unlucky target's hands and turned him around that his face would set Kida off. He didn't have to wait for long because as soon as the man started gasping dramatically, a titter of laughter came from Kida. Kida's eyes widened and he tried his best to swallow the rest of it. Sometimes hanging around Kida felt like babysitting...

The man knew they were talking about him and he tried his best to intimidate Kida, staring him down. Who did that smug bastard think he was? Young punks.. both of them. The country was truly going to shit if they were a representation of the youth. The man didn't care for either of them but the shorter one was his least favorite. His smile was unnerving. Damn punk...

"Yeah, yeah.." Kida trailed off, watching the man again only for their eyes to connect. Kida's eyes lit up and the held eye contact for an agonizing time.
Kida slowly started to smirk again and stooped down to the man's squatted position. The smile spread wide until all his teeth were showing. He couldn't resist any longer..

"Pufferfish."
Kida spoke out loud. He nodded his head at the epiphany and slowly extended his hand, inching his index finger closer to the man's large cheeks. The man made a grunt, his cheeks filling with air and his beady eyes boring a whole through Kida. The tops of his small ears were flushed red with anger. Kida jabbed his finger into the man's face, then proceeded to place both his hands on either side, applying pressure and smushing the man's features together with little care. Kida made excited noises of disbelief like a child seeing a magic trick for the first time.

The man made a noise of annoyance and frowned, uncertainty written all over his face. Yuji exhaled smoke from his nose and flicked his cigarette over the railing of the back alley door. He shook his head at his brother, disappointed but not surprised at his lack of restraint especially in such a serious moment as this.

"Puffer fish. Fish... fish..."
Kida spoke softly to himself, giddy like a child.

Yuji watched the spectacle over his shoulder and really took the time to analyze his comrade.
"You're nothing but a big ass kid..."

Kida flipped Yuji off and stuck out his tongue. When he was satisfied, he pressed his finger into the man's squishy cheek again rather aggressively.
"Taiyaki. Kawaii!"
Kida teased.

The man started to yell, and Yuji rolled his eyes. So much for stealth... He put a hand in front of Kida, putting space between the two and jerked the man to his feet. The man's hands were bound but not for long.. Yuji turned the man around and took a knife from his pocket. To the disbelief of the other two men, Yuji placed the knife under the binding and started cutting through it.

Kida stopped laughing and shot to his feet.
"What the fuck-!"

The rope lay in tatters and their target spared no time in launching himself at Kida, taking them both to the ground. Kida was on the bottom and took most of the impact. Kida grunted from the weight of the large man and the man smacked Kida upside the head. He rained blows all over Kida, huffing and puffing after each hit.
"くそくらえ! (Eat Shit!)"
He yelled.

Yuji's eyes widened slightly at the quarrel.

Kida wrestled his arms free and bucked his hips, trying to throw the man off. He craned his neck away from the man and gave Yuji a pleading, desperate look. Yuji mock frowned, throwing his hands up and poking out his bottom lip before his face went back to its usual straight, poker face.

"Like Maggie often says... That.. ain't got shit to do with me.." he parroted, pointing at himself. His accent making the phrase sound even more bizarre.

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Oop.

Just a silly little thing I thought up.

Kida and Yuji are so funny. lol

_Maddie 💗