FNAF group chat

Sister Location (14)

A/N: Apparently this is modern. LMAO, phones and Facebook exist. Fuck timelines.

Baby:
Mike... how did your date go?
Eggs:
... terrible. I spilled steak sauce all over my shirt and she laughed at me. I feel like a failure.
Funtime Freddy:
LMFAO, DUMB FUCK!
Bon-Bon:
Yeah... there won't be a second date...
Ballora:
You two are fucking assholes.
Lolbit:
There will be a second date. She texted five minutes ago asking when it will be.
Eggs:
REALLY? Wait... why did you have my phone?
Lolbit:
Yes, really. Also... don't ask...
Eggs:
Please tell me you didn't post on my FaceBook!
Lolbit:
I deleted your FaceBook. Are you a 47 year old mom who thinks farts cure cancer? No? YOU DON'T BELONG ON FACEBOOK!
Funtime Foxy:
They have a point... LMAO
Baby:
"Hey Y'all. It's Janise. My son just got his Covid vaccine and I'm pretty sure it's making him gay. This is why I don't trust what the government puts in our bodies. #NotScaredOfCovid "
Yendo:
LMFAO, GAY VACCINE!
Bonnet:
So... confession... I used to think Mike was gay. LOL
Eggs:
WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?
Ballora:
The time you danced across my gallery to Circus by Britney Spears.
Bonnet:
Or the rainbow background on your phone.
Baby:
You kissed a guy at your 8th grade dance Mike.
Eggs:
... that was gross. Not because I'm homophobic or anything, but he had a mouth full of Jolly Ranchers. His name was Josh and a year later, he pissed his pants in gym. Also, STEREOTYPES!
Lolbit:
Ew... fuck Josh and his piss. 
Bon-Bon:
So... you're not gay?
Eggs:
No... I just exist.
Funtime Freddy:
Send 🤠  if you're gay.
Yendo:
👨🏼‍🦲
Funtime Freddy:
... that's not what I said.
Ballora:
Yeah... no one cares about what you said.
Baby:
We're fucking robots. I personally have no desire to be with anyone...
Eggs:
You're also technically a fucking child.
Baby:
LMAO, that too.
Funtime Foxy:
Oh, I've been meaning to ask... When's our next field trip Mike? You can bring your girlfriend.
Eggs:
HELL NO! WE ARE NEVER DOING THAT SHIT AGAIN! Also, I don't want to scare her away.
Lolbit:
Oh come on! I think I could get along with her perfectly.
Eggs:
... no. I'm never bringing her near you fuckers.
Bon-Bon:
But... you're supposed to introduce your significant other to your family.
Baby:
LMAO, FUCKING FAMILY!
Ballora:
I mean... is that wrong though.
Eggs:
... I'm not sure if I should be happy or fucking scoop all of you.
Funtime Foxy:
We're better than your dad...
Eggs:
Fair enough... I'm happy.
Baby:
I am also technically your family member so... you better introduce Grace to me. I don't care if no one else meets her. I have to.
Eggs:
... OK, damn!
Lolbit:
I want to meet the bitch who stole my man!
Funtime Foxy:
Ew... never say that again.
Lolbit:
... I won't. I hated that.
Eggs:
LOLBIT NO!
Ballora:
... we probably would scare her away. Bon-Bon would bite her.
Bon-Bon:
I can't help it. I just see knees and I have to bite them.
Yendo:
You really don't have to.
Bon-Bon:
YES I DO!
Bonnet:
... I think we're all ignoring the most important question here. Where are you going for your second date?
Eggs:
The park for a stroll around the lake. We're gonna have a picnic and watch the sunset.
Ballora:
... that actually sounds nice.
Eggs:
WERE YOU DOUBTING ME?
Ballora:
... kind of.
Baby:
Fucking yes.
Funtime Foxy:
Mike, you kissed a guy named Josh who pissed his pants and thought stuffing Jolly Ranchers in his mouth was cool. We have a reason to doubt you.
Eggs:
... you're all assholes.
Bon-Bon:
Why did you kiss Josh anyway.
Baby:
Mostly to piss off our dad, but he also thought he was hot.
Eggs:
Mostly the piss off dad thing... but he wasn't too ugly.
Funtime Freddy:
You wanna kiss me Mikey? 😚
Eggs:
... fucking gross. Hell no.
Funtime Freddy:
... fuck you. 😔
Ballora:
I will never understand how I continue to put up with all of you.