It's quarter to 5 and I'm walking in the hospital hall while smiling. I'm excited to give Veen her favorite flowers. Past 4PM na natapos ang practical exam ko so I'm a bit exhausted, but it was replaced by excitement when I saw a flower shop on the way here so I bought some sunflowers to cheer Veen up- it's her favorite flower.
But my smile faded when I went inside her room. The bed is fixed and si Dad at Tito Samuel lang ang nasa loob. Where's Veen? Where's everyone?
"Hey babygirl"
Hindi ko tiningnan si Dad, my whole attention is just fixed on the bed where Veen was lying before. Why is it fucking empty?
"D-Dad, Tito Sam, where is Veen?"
I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I am tearing up, I think I know what happened here.
"Mon, Sam already went to Baguio earlier at 3. Bumiyahe siya kasama si Dad at Lourdes"
I clenched my fist because I'm right. It makes me so angry to be helpless. Umalis siya nang hindi man lang kami nakakapag-usap ng maayos. Umalis siya nang hindi man lang kami okay. If only I could go to Baguio right now, I would. Kaso hindi pwede, I promised myself not to disturb her so she could recover fast.
"I'm sorry baby girl, Samantha was really eager to go ASAP"
After I heard that from my Dad, my tears started falling. Hanggang kailan ba ako masasaktan? Hindi ko na alam. Buong akala ko magiging okay kami pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari but I thought wrong. Napakadigital ng karma ko ano? Ang bilis.
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath before I look at our Dads. I gave them a smile. They're both looking at me with worried faces. Wala naman na akong magagawa kung iiyak ako di ba? Umalis na siya. I'll just take it as a chance to be better as well. I need to be better when she comes back. I should make myself worthy of her and her love, only if she still loves me by then.
Haaaay. Nevertheless, I will continue to wait. Whatever happens, I will always love her.
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***
"Holy shit Patricia Monica!"
Napatigil ako sa pagkain at kinakabahang napatingin kay Kate na gulat na nakatitig sa phone niya. Nandito kami sa cafeteria ng school ngayon and we're having lunch.
It's already the last week of November and Veen is still in Baguio. We never heard from her since she went there. Kahit si Kate na siyang may-ari ng hacienda na kinaroroonan niya walang alam about sa kanya. Her parents and family did not want to tell her how Veen is doing there. Kahit sina Tito Sam and Tita Lourdes walang alam. Only Lola A knows about her whereabouts because Lola A told us that Veen has been talking to her. She just assured as with one thing, Veen is okay and getting better.
Miss na miss ko na siya. Every night, before I go to sleep, I always pray for her. For her happiness, safety and healing. I always pray for her to be finally well. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa ako nakakapagcelebrate ng birthday ko and I just slowly embraced the fact that I might not be able to celebrate it anymore. Lalo na pag hindi kami naging okay ni Veen sooner. Wala na akong pakialam, what I just really want to happen right now is for her to be okay and to be back here with us.
