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-MON

I took a deep breath bago ko pinaandar ang sasakyan ko. Lalo lang akong nasasaktan pag tumagal pa ako dito. I'll just destroy myself more if I stay here longer. Liz is there for Veen anyway, maybe it's time for me to exit out. 

I was about to drive away after saying my goodbye to Tita Lea when Liz suddenly knocked on my window. I rolled it down and gave her a polite smile. Tumingin ako sa likod niya at nakita kong kinakausap ni Veen si Tita Lea.

"Hey Mon, automatic tong car mo di ba?"

I creased my forehead and gave her a confused nod. It's both automatic and manual.

"Uhmm, can you drive for Sam? Manual kasi yung car niya and I only know automatic. I don't want her to be driving right now because I know a lot's on her mind, it's not safe. Pupunta naman tayo sa bar ni Taylor di ba?"

I nodded at her.

"A-Alright, I know how to drive her car"

She gave me a bright smile. Ang ganda niya talaga. How I wish I was like her.

"Great! She's waiting for you!"

As soon as I went out of my car she immediately took my keys and went inside. Bakit hindi siya marunong magdrive ng manual car? Is she not driving abroad? Mag-isa lang siya doon di ba?

"Sam!"

Naagaw niya ang atensyon ni Tita Lea and Veen dahil sa pagtawag niya sa pangalan ng huli. I felt shy when Veen looked at me with a confused expression. Baka ayaw niyang kasama ako.

"Sam, Mon will drive for you"

"What? Liz, I can drive on my ow--"

Hindi na pinatapos ni Liz ang pagtutol ni Veen. Right. Ayaw niya ngang kasama ako.

"No. Mon will drive for you. You're a mess, Sam. It's not safe for you to drive right now"

"But--"

"Please, Sam?"

Her voice is begging and it was enough for Veen to give up and agree with her. My heart ached, Veen listens to her, that was me before. I'm the person whom Veen listens to all the time. Ngayon hindi ko na alam kung sino ba ako dito. Hindi ko nga alam bakit nandito pa ako.

"Sige na Mon, susundan ko kayo since I don't know where Taylor's bar is"

Lumapit ako kay Veen na nakatitig lang sa akin para kunin ang susi ng sasakyan niya.

"Are you sure you can do this?"

She asked me as if it's not safe for me to drive. She doesn't trust me still. I'm a reckless driver since I learned to drive, that's why sinusundo niya lang ako and she'll drive for me because she wants me to be safe as much as possible.

Oh I'd give anything to have those days back.

"I will not do anything that will hurt you babi"

I said with a hint of pain on my voice, I almost said it like a whisper.

I saw her expression changed from being doubtful to apologetic. She maybe felt that the way she treats me hurts me. I don't really care at all if I look pathetic in front of her, I'm tired of pretending that she's not hurting me. I'm human after all, I'm capable of hurting.

She's wrecking me to the point that I no longer want to be fixed because it makes me so afraid to feel this way again after being okay. Damn it.

Nauna na siyang pumasok sa passenger's seat matapos magpaalam kay Tita Lea. Lumapit ulit ako kay Tita Lea and kissed her cheek one last time.

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