WHOLE

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- MON

The most painful feeling at that time that I saw the tweet was not the tweet itself nor the idea of Veen giving that girl her favorite flowers, it's the time where Veen commented on the tweet after being disconnected from everything and everyone for the past few weeks.

You're welcome, sunshine.

I bitterly smiled, sunshine, she calls her sunshine. Parang unti-unting bumabagsak ang mundo ko habang unti-unti ko ring naiintindihan kung ano ang nangyayari. It looks like she's very fond of her. Like how she was fond of me before.

Napakakonti lang ng interaction nila sa tweet na yun but it was enough to shake everyone off. Nagtrending sila agad dahil sa mga students sa school and a lot of people outside our University already know about Veen. Kasi nasubaybayan nila lahat ng nangyari sa kanya recently through the local news. Mas lalo siyang naging kilala, mas lalong maraming humanga sa kanya.

I immediately excused myself from our friends after I saw the tweet. Hindi ko alam. My mind was empty and I just trusted my feet wherever it will take me. Hindi ko na magawang umiyak dahil sa sobrang sakit. I feel numb.

I left my car in the parking lot. I just called a taxi and went in.

"Kuya sa bus terminal po papuntang Baguio"

Hindi ko na alam kung tama ba ang gagawin ko pero I'll do it anyway. I'll go to Baguio because I want to see and prove things with my own eyes. I'm just lucky I wore pants and pullovers today. I would get myself killed if I wear something short while fighting the cold weather there. Who cares if I die anyway? Petty ba? Maybe.

I sent a message to my Dad and Mom that I'll be going to Batangas to breathe for a while. I lied. I also lied about my classes being done for the day. I asked them not to find me because I'll be fine.

Am I gonna be?

This is my first trip to Baguio alone. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung saan ako bababa papunta sa Hacienda nina Kate. Maybe I'll just ask a favor from her sister since alam kong nasa Baguio din siya ngayon for vacation.

Pagdating ko sa terminal, I immediately went inside the bus. Everyone was looking at me and I got really scared. Nagkaka-anxiety ako kasi I don't know these people and they might not do something good if they find out that it's my first time riding a public vehicle during a long ride. Wala na akong paki. I need to do this. Hindi na ako pwedeng umatras. I just badly need to see Veen and make sure she's okay and happy.

Nasa kalagitnaan na ako ng byahe when I called ate Kara, Katelyn's older sister. Mabilis naman niya itong sinagot. Thank God.

"Ate"

"Hey Mon, napatawag ka? Is there something wrong?"

"Uhmm, I know you're gonna kill me for this but I'm on my way to Baguio right now"

"W-What?! Don't tell me you're alone?!"

"I am ate"

"Juskong bata ka Patricia Monica! I will surely kill you for this! It's very dangerous Mon!"

I can hear her frustration and worry while trying to calm herself down so I bit my lips and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry ate, I just really need to see Veen"

"Mon, alam mo namang ayaw niya di ba? She's almost well, she's almost going home"

My tears welled up because of what she said. She's almost going home but not to me. I just really need to see her and then I'll accept whatever I need to accept after that.

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