Made of Steel

53. My Man of Steel

Cassandra Reid

I have to sit back down so I don't fall. Why does this happen to us? Is it that we can never have a life in peace? What do I tell my children? What if he doesn't wake up?

'No,' I stop the thought quickly.

He's going to be fine. He has to be fine.

"You can go to see him for five minutes," the boss tells us. "Then only one of you can stay with him."

"I'll stay", I can see the suspicion and the muffled protests in the rest of those present, but my imperative tone leaves no room for retorts. "You can go first," I indicate to my husband's parents and his best friend. "I'll wait. I need to go to the bathroom," I add once I'm staying with my three friends.

I don't wait for an answer, I just bolt through the halls. I feel like I'm drowning and my eyes burn like hell. I need a moment alone.

As soon as I close the door, I lean against it and release all the pent up emotions.

I stifle my sobs by covering my mouth with my hands as my body shakes up and down.

Anger, bewilderment, sadness, uncertainty... How is it possible that the world turns upside down in a few seconds?

Someone knocks on the door and I rush to the sink to splash water on my face.

I sniffle as I gaze at my figure in the mirror. I keep looking into my dull green eyes as I unconsciously reach for my flat stomach.

I can't do this without him...

"I know what you're thinking," my best friend barges in abruptly. "Get it out of your head. Look at me, Cassandra Reid," she grabs my arm to force me to pay attention to her. "It won't happen. Your Italian is going to get out of that bed and go back to being the same possessive cold man he always was."

"He's in a coma, Leah."

"So what?" she counterattacks. "We're talking about Adriano Di Lauro. He will never leave his wife and children in someone else's care. He will wake up, Cassie," she assures, brushing new tears from my cheeks with her delicate touch. "If not I'll take care of electroshocking him myself."

We both laughed at her witty words. Only she could pull a smile off at in a moment like this.

"I've missed you, my favorite crazy."

"I'm here", she doesn't hesitate to welcome me into her arms. After my husband's and my children's hugs, none can surpasses Leah Falco's. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Are you sure about that?", I try to test waters.

She automatically lowers her head and then lets out a long sigh.

"I am."

I move my mouth soundlessly a few times, pondering my next question.

"If he came looking for you... would you go with him?"

"That's not going to happen," she lifts the corner of her mouth up. However, the gesture doesn't reach her eyes, "but in case the miracle happens...", she preempts my reply, "I don't know. I'm not willing to be devil's hostage again, Cassie. I'm screwed because I've fallen in love with a screwed up man and I don't even care, all I can think about is that he doesn't love me back."

"Leah..."

"Never mind, I'm a specialist in erasing the past."

'No, Leah. You don't erase it, you avoid it', the answer pops into my head, but I don't tell her. She's not ready for this conversation yet.