Recuperation

I'll make love to you

[But guys watch the video I attached, they are so cute and remind me of Justin and Jason a lot, I don't know.]

Justin's pov

"What was g-going through your head?" I muttered to Jason.

We were sat on the hammock in the garden, I was laying down straight on my back and Jason was in between my legs with his head resting in the crook of my neck, his hot breath brushing against my cold skin.

He had gotten out of the hospital not long after he had woken up as he did not want to stay in there and I couldn't blame him, but I admit that I may have panicked just a little bit.

I mean what if he wasn't fully ok?

Jason sighed into my neck, "Do we have to talk about it now?" He asked and I nodded, "Of course, i-it's better to get things over and d-done with."

Jason knowing I was right sat up with a pout on his face, making sure that he was able to look me in the eye before sighing again and nodding.

"Honestly? I don't think any specific thing was going through my head at that moment, I just remember talking to my therapist, who had asked me questions about you and I told him everything I did to you," He sighed, "I got angry at myself and went to the gym, after that everything is pretty much a blur." Jason admitted.

I nodded and bit my bottom lip as I raised my hand to run my fingers through his soft hair, "I understand." Was all I could say, what else was I meant to say?

"Do you s-still want to talk a-about it?" I questioned and he shook his head, "C-Can I just ask you one more q-question?"

"Of course baby, anything, even though you technically just asked me a question." He smirked making me roll my eyes

"Are y-you ok?" I asked and I know it's a stupid question, knowing fully well that he is not ok, but I just want him to open up to me.

Jason smiled sadly, placing a soft kiss upon my nose.

"No." He answered honestly and I frowned.

"Hey now, don't frown baby, you're way too beautiful for that." He chuckled, but i just continued to frown.

My bottom lip trembling at the thought of him not being ok, I want nothing more than him being happy, but I am not doing a very good job at trying to make him happy and help him to get past his problems.

Jason frowned now, his gaze landing on my trembling lips as I tried to stop myself from crying, that is the last thing he needs.

"Don't cry baby, I'm not ok and that's fine to admit, but i am going to get passed it and how could i not with all the support i am receiving from you and everybody else?" He whispered, wiping underneath my eyes with the pads of his thumbs as a few tears slipped.

"I have to get worse before i get better baby, just remember that and you focus on getting yourself better, I'm thinking of what i am going through as just a little bump in the road, what has happened has happened and i need to move on from it and i will," He assured sitting up so he was straddling me, "Of course the mental scars will be there, but that is all they are, scars."

I pouted.

Why cant we get just a tiny bit of happiness?

Every time anything seems to be running smoothly for us, something always has to come and ruin it.

"I'm taking you on a date tonight." Jason smiled and I knew he was just changing the subject, I was fine with that.

"Where are you taking m-me?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist as he leaned down rubbing his nose against mine in an eskimo kiss.