Maybe There's No Mistakes..

•eleven•

My stomach is churning from nerves as the bass of the gigantic speakers around me shake me to my core. I see Tia and Kenna just disappearing down a small set of metal stairs into the photo pit and i jog over to them and touch Kenna's shoulder letting her know I had caught up. I noticed my hands were shaking. How did that little bit of attention shake me up so badly?  How the fuck was I ever going to be able to show my face with Austin if 5 girls ogling at me from the pit threw me off this badly? What the fuck was I getting myself into? I could feel my anxiety creeping into my chest and knew if I didn't calm myself the fuck down it was going to spiral into a full blown panic attack and that wasn't going to happen here, tonight. Fuck I need a cigarette and the rest of that tequila. Self medicate Sara, that's the spirit, I thought to myself sarcastically. I took a couple deep breaths and pulled the pack of camels out of my back pocket and put one between my lips. I had no clue if it was ok for me to smoke here but since Austin literally had one in his fingers on stage 4 foot from me I decided, fuck it, Scott or the girls can tell me if I'm breaking some rule. Austin caught my eye and I flashed him a smile, trying to perk myself up before he noticed something was off. I wasn't sly enough for him. I saw his eyes instantly change as he kept singing but walked my way, dropping to a squat in front of me, locking eyes as he continued with Wrapped Around Your Finger. I winked at him and sang as loud as I could, hoping I could cover my anxiety..

Look in the mirror don't see myself..
Bein' with me has gotta be like hell
So tell the devil I'ma be right down...

He popped back up to standing still looking at me and quickly flashed me an ok sign with his hand, his head tilting slightly. I gave him my best fake smile and nodded, that seeming to be enough to placate him as he ran away to the other side of the stage continuing the song.

"You ok girl? You seem off?" Tia yelled in my ear, giving me a knowing look.

"Just a little anxious, I'm good. Nothing more than that tequila can fix. Wish we had that bottle..." I laughed and Tia nodded

"I can make that happen!!" She caught Scott's attention and waved him over, he leaned in as she yelled in his ear, giving her a thumbs up and started talking on his walkie on his shoulder. In all of 30 seconds one of the crew ran over to us and handed us a bottle of Don Londrés and a small stack of plastic shot glasses. Tia grabbed the bottle and waved off the glasses, handing the guy the bottle stopper. He pocketed it and laughed and ran back stage.

We passed the bottle around the 3 of us the rest of the show. My nerves slowly melting away about the 3rd time the bottle hit my lips. Adam shimmed in between Kenna and I to get himself a shot at least twice. I snatched his camera from him one of those times and took a photo of him tipping the bottle back, Kenna laughing hysterically trying to pry it from his hands. All three of us dancing and singing along as Austin worked his magic, keeping us and the crowd hyped up with his energy.

Between songs he swaggered over to where we were standing and gave me a "come here" gesture with his fingers, pointing at the bottle in my hand. I put it too my lips and took a drink, reaching forward on my tiptoes I passed him the bottle as he took his own drink while the crowd screamed in response. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and passed the bottle back to me, blowing me a tiny kiss in the process.

"Awwwwww fuck we got our girls on that tequila, tonight's gonna be fun boys!!!" He said, his mic not to his lips, but the crowd in the front definitely heard him as ripples of laughter went through the first couple rows. We had moved further down the rail closer to the side where the group of girls that had seen me and Austin before. I wasn't trying to give them any attention but I caught myself looking at them after he said that, knowing they were among the few who heard his comment. I tried to play my glances at them off, as Tia and Kenna both dissolved in a fit of giggles. I saw one of the girls lean into another and whisper something to her. Both giving me dagger eyes. I felt that creeping sensation start in my throat again as I took a deep breath and another drink from our rapidly emptying bottle.