Maybe There's No Mistakes..

•forty six•

I don't know how long we sat there, Austin holding me and reassuring me that everything was ok, he loved me and that no one was going anywhere. God bless him, he was doing all this and sitting here with his bandaged hand hanging off the side of the tub, I just realized it and knew his hand had to be asleep from the awkward position.

"Baby, your hand." I croaked. My voice was shot from the tears and sobbing. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow unsure what I was asking. "That can't be comfortable."

"Ahh no worries sweetheart, it went numb about 10 mins ago. It's all good now.." he said with a low chuckle that rumbled in my ear that was pressed to his chest.

"Austin.." I whined, feeling even worse. "We can get out. I'm.. im ok. Can we talk in bed? I just want to lay down with you."

"Of course baby, I'll make us some coffee and we can talk. I love you, maybe after that we can go get some breakfast? There are some places I want to show you, help get your mind settled."

"I love you too Austin. And I'm sorry." I whispered.

"It's gonna be ok baby. Come on, let me get us towels." I slid forward far enough for him to get out of the tub and he grabbed us towels, coming back and helping me out of the tub. He wrapped the towel around my shoulders and I started drying off, the reflection of my soggy tear stained face was pitiful. I tucked the towel around me and went to the sink to wash my face and pull my wet hair up in a bun. My eyes were puffy, red and bloodshot, I looked like hell and felt like a complete asshole.

Austin came over and kissed my cheek before walking out of the room. "I'll make us coffee and be right back."

I finished washing my face, thankfully a good scrub managed to pink up my entire face instead of just my nose and eyes. I dried my face and grabbed the soft black tee shirt Austin as put on me earlier off the floor and put it back on. The sleeves hung to my elbows and it hit me about mid thigh, it was soft and comforting. I pulled the neck of it up to my nose and breathed him in. It felt like a wave rushing over me, how just his smell slowed my senses.

I dropped my towel in the hamper and padded back to the bedroom. My bags were stacked up in the middle of the floor, where I had left them earlier. My stomach flipped just seeing them there, waiting for me to walk out with them. I fought back the sting of tears and walked to them, settling to the floor with my legs crossed under me I pulled the bags over to me. I flopped my largest one over on its back and unzipped it. I needed these bags unpacked now, I needed them out of my sight.

I wasn't excited about the conversation we were about to have. I knew I hurt Austin with the things I said, the way I acted like I could just walk away from him. Even though I knew I never could, and that my words were true, if I did, I would never be ok.

I started sorting through my clothes, cursing myself for not being more organized when I was stuffing my bags as we packed up the bus. I had to resort to sniffing things to figure out if they were clean. Tour life is fucking disgusting. All of this needed to be washed some of it probably burned. I laughed at myself and decided if it was questionable it definitely went in the dirty pile.

Austin came back in the room as I was still sorting through my clothes, holding two large mugs of steaming coffee, mine the exact creamy dark brown shade i love. I knew just by looking at it he had made it perfectly. He slid down to the floor beside me, leaning back against the mattress and crossing his long legs at the ankles in front of him. He had changed into a pair of black sweats but was shirtless and barefoot. I needed to concentrate on my unpacking if we were going to have an actual conversation.

"Whatcha doing now baby?" He asked, taking a slurpy sip of his too hot coffee.

"Unpacking." I said looking up at him.