Maybe There's No Mistakes..

•sixty one•

Sleep sucked. I didn't think about this before and now Austin is knocked out cold beside me, flat on his belly without a care in the world while I fought for sleep. Of course this had to be the hip that I always sleep on and switching that up was an issue. After what seemed like hours of just laying there listening to Austin breath I threw the sheets back with a huff and sat on the edge of the bed. I grabbed Austin's shirt and boxers from the floor, at least I remembered we have guests in the house, and snatched the pack of cigarettes and a lighter off the nightstand. Britt stretched and stood as well, shaking off and looking up at me questioning me as if to say "what the fuck lady.. where are we going?"

I slid the door open to the back yard and we stepped into the backyard, leaving it slightly open so Austin would have an idea where I was if he woke before I came back. The cool predawn air actually felt good, the breeze smelled sweet and damp. I went to sit on one of the chairs on the patio when I noticed Britt jump up on the couch across the yard. I saw the back of Tia's head, Britt licked the side of her face and I heard her laugh softly and she stroked Britt's cheek. She looked back over her shoulder at me as I walked over to her, she brought a hand to her face, wiping her cheek and gave me a weak smile.

"Hey.." she said. Her voice was quiet, I could tell she had been crying. Worry flooded me as I sat down beside her.

"Tia! Baby, what's wrong? Are you ok?" I said rubbing her shoulder. Britt had her head in her lap and Tia was running her fingers through the fur on her neck.

"Yeah... I mean... not really but... we just got in a big fight.. " She started crying again, wiping at her eyes with the heels of her hands. "He cheated on me, last year. This girl in Chicago that he met after a show in a club, told me it was just a drunk mistake, and I thought it was. I forgave him, I thought things were fine. But.. he's got pictures of her on his phone and tonight found out he's been talking to her for a couple months now..."

"Oh Tia..." I sighed. "what the hell.."

"He just came right out and told me he was talking to her tonight! He's fucking drunk and probably won't remember why we even got into an argument. He told me it was just a one time thing but why would he have her phone number if that was the case? I'm overreacting because she's just a friend.. just a friend that you have nudes of?" Tia said, sniffing and laying her head back on the cushion.

"I've been there. Literally.. I had basically the same thing happen, and I shouldn't be the one giving you advice about this because my situation was so much different... I should have left way before that happened. I regret not leaving him then, and about 10 times before then when he showed me his true colors. But honestly T, I'm not the one to take advice from, being with Austin is the first stable relationship I've ever been in. Smitty isn't anything like my ex."

"I just feel like he's taking advantage of me. I don't think he's ever cheated on me before this, and I don't think he has recently because, well frankly I don't let him out of my fucking sight most times now. I was just beginning to gain that trust back when all this happened tonight. I mean, at least he was honest when I asked him, and showed me... everything..." her voice cracked and she shook her head. "I blew up, I went nuts on him and he just sat there shaking his head like I was crazy. Told me it was "normal" and that I should be glad it's just pictures and texts and not him "really" cheating on me. It's like he's trying to fucking gaslight me."

"He doesn't get a pass, and I consider that being unfaithful. He is definitely gaslighting you, but, being the devils advocate here, maybe he deserves a sober conversation? But that's for you to decide.."

"Oh there's definitely going to be a sober conversation..." she said with an exasperated sigh. "I just don't know how much longer I can sit and just let him do this. I had a gut feeling something was off and come to find out it's true. 4 years, 4 fucking years I put my life on hold, I gave up the shit I wanted to do to support him, to be with him and build what I thought was our forever together, but he just decides some fucking pussy is worth more than all that. I should have never let him convince me he was sorry and it was a mistake."