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𝐃𝐚𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐚 I couldn't be there for any longer so i got my stuff ready and left the house at 7 am my mother was wake and i just told her about the project and how i need to work on it and she told me it was okay i made sure my mother was okay before i left,the hole car ride i was crying.
I called jade to tell her what happened with my father and how I'm pretty sure roman is my angle she asked me how i know it's actually him and i told her his father raped me last night.
She let me cry in her arms i cried and cried until there was no tears left for me to cry,she told me if i didn't want to see Roman that was fine she will talk to him tell him a lie saying i was sick or something,and i think that was for the best.
How am i supposed to face him,i know hes my Roman,my angel, i was still so in shock did he know it was me?,why didn't he tell me it was him.
It just made things even worse, I couldn't believe it was actually him and i don't know why but it hurt so fucking bad, hes back after 10 years and i finally get to see him again,but thats not the case anymore.
I couldn't see Roman and not think about what his father did to me,how the fuck am i going to go to school if i can't face him what the fuck am I supposed to do.
The school is not going to give a shit about what im going through,the more and more I think about it my chest falling up and done fast and my hart is racing and now its hard to breathe.
Im having a panic attack or anxiety attack im not sure.
I could't move i could't breathe all i could do was nothing really, i grabbed my phone from my night stand and texted jade was 'help'.
By the second i can feel myself passing out and i was shaking and it was getting hard to breathe.
When my door open jade ran to be by my side.
"It's okay its okay doll im right here your okay" jade said trying to calm me down.
But it only got worse and worse i was trying to get my breathing under control but i couldn't nothing i did was helping.
My face was soaked with tears and "breath in and out doll your going to be okay" jade Said.
"Breath with me" jade said grabbing my hands.
"In and out" jade said.
And it was helping,i got my breathing under control and i was fine again.
"You okay now?" Jade asked.
"Yeah im fine think you" i said with a sad smile.
"Tak a nap im going to call the school and say your going to be out this week I'll text you your homework,you need a break tho doll so just take it please" jade said.
And it was true i did need a break the whloe time of been at school I've been trying so hard to get everything done and i need a break a small break,for school and from everyone.
"Take a nap when your up were going to watch movies for the rest of the day and just be lazy" jade said.
"Okay" i said with a small smile.
I made sure she walk back to her room,when I knew she was back in her room I went to my bathroom and grabbed my kit.
I grabbed the blade and dragged it across my thigh,for some reason it makes me feel alive.
When I star to get dizzy from all the blood I lost I stop and pull my pants back up.
In some messed up way,the only way to breathe was was cause myself pain
....
I took a good 2 hours nap and when i wake up jade had all of our favorite snacks,and she ordered pizza.
We watched all the twilight movies,twilight has always been my favorite movie since i was 8, me and my mother watched them together, i told my Mather when i get married i want to have a wedding like Bella had hers.
Im team Edward of course,i love there love story,and i wouldn't be best friends with jade if she wasn't team Edward if your not team Edward i don't fuck with you.
Jades the sun and I'm the moon,no matter how dark it gets,she heals me.
And that is why we both have matching sun and moon tattoos.
Jade is no only my best friend but she is the sister i never had,we're are both there for each other no matter what.
She is my other half.
.... I need a jade in my life like Fr Fr i kinda do but she lives far away and i don't really talk to her about my. Problems anymore because she happy with her boyfriend and at the beginning of our friendship she was going through a lot so now that she happy i don't want to talk about my family problems so i just keep it to my self 😭.
Stop that was really off topic ANYWAYS, this chapter is sad too it makes me sad.
I don't really have anything else to say at her then im editing more now so for sure you guys will be getting more chapter more often 😜.
