𝒐𝒓𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒄||Regulus Black

2

<Regulus>

I sat by the edge of the astronomy tower dangling my feet dangerously close to falling off of it.

Guilt ate me up, every inch of my body shivered with overwhelmnes and disgust. I remember reading this phrase in a random book that completely stuck with me, it said 'guilt is the faint realization on how we still live by people's expectations'

I really did.

I grew up on tales and punishment that if you lose control you become utterly useless, and what happened with Carmen was an example. I lost control, I explored far too much of her that I was sure I would never have the courage to pull away from that kiss, I still don't know how I did.

There was something so haunting about her, she just seems so.... divine. She could select any boy and with a mere look have them wrapped around her finger,

but she didn't,

and that's what made her even more appealing to others. They dared each other to talk to her, they took turns in asking her out, yet she only denied with a polite smile and a simple "no". It fascinated me truly, and at first I thought maybe she likes someone else, someone special.

At special times I dared to think it was me, but that thought was quickly shaken away whenever I saw her with barty.

He was the only person who could make her laugh with such fondness, he treats her good, he's the better option.

It pained me just thinking about that kiss, although she kissed back with almost the same lust I couldn't help but think that all she did was to humor me.

'Poor Regulus' I imagined her thinking and my heart filled with so much hatred towards her, towards him, towards my mother the reason for all my insecurities and doubts.

But then again; Carmen didn't really do anything. Reality hit me like a sharp arrow twisting in the rock that was once considered a heart.

Carmen didn't do anything
She did nothing
Absolutely nothing
And I blamed her
For. Everything.

So once again I felt dizzy with guilt.

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