happiness begins [joe jonas]

22

Joe cursed himself as she walked out. He knew he should've ran after her, but it wouldn't do any good. He sank down onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. He thought he was doing the right thing, by trying to protect her. But it had gotten too out of hand. He should've known, keeping those rumours a secret was a bad move. He hadn't want to see her torn apart from the public's speculations, yet that was exactly what had happened. And it was all down to him.

Joe had no idea had to fix things. He didn't even know if Emmie would ever talk to him again. She was distraught once had found out the truth. Joe hated the way her face fell once she realised what was happening. He hated he had put her through that pain. He had promised she would never feel that way with him. But that was now empty.

He was worried. Worried he had lost her for good. Emmie had opened up to him, trusting that he would never hurt her. She had always been scared to talk about her past, and now that she finally had, it had broken her.

He couldn't help the tightness he felt in his chest. He felt so guilty for hurting her. Sometimes he wished he wasn't in the public eye. That way he wouldn't have to worry about the paparazzi tearing Emmie apart. Joe stood up, pacing the room as he tried to clear his mind. He had no control over his mind, over his feelings. He huffed as he stood facing the wall, tapping it with the palm of his hand as he tried to think.

He couldn't believe he had done this. He had pushed her away, like he had done with his brothers. There was no way she would forgive him. The rumours were one thing, but hiding them from her was another. She was bound to find out eventually.

Joe wandered into his bedroom, where Emmie had previously been sleeping. Not even an hour ago, two of them had been happy together. He glanced over to wear his guitar lie against the wall. The same guitar he had sat with, for the past weeks, as he wrote all of his feelings down into a song. The same song he had sung out loud that following night. The song Emmie had heard as she fell asleep beside him.

He sat down, lifting the guitar into his lap, strumming a few notes. If he couldn't get a hold of his thoughts, in the way he wanted to, then maybe he could write them into a song. That was his best coping mechanism. Music was the only way he could truly say what he needed to. So maybe his feelings wouldn't be so hard to understand.

•.•.•.•.•

Emmie arrived home, completely numb. This had been far from the weekend she'd had hoped for. Her feet ached from walking so far. Once she'd left Joe's apartment, she came to the realisation that she had no way home. She didn't want to go back upstairs and bother Joe, so she decided on walking. Which came to be a bad idea. The walk was longer than she had anticipated, as she tried to remember her way back. At one point, she had even debated calling a cab. But she didn't want the hassle.

Emmie stared at the reflection in the mirror opposite the door. Her hair was a mess. Strands of it sticking out from every angle. Her skin was blotchy from the harsh wind that dried her tears. But her mind was still completely numb. She stared at her body, inhaling the scent of Joe that lingered on his clothes. She material was soft against her skin.

Emmie wasn't sure what to do with herself. She didn't want to do anything. She wanted to curl in bed and never resurface. She wanted to wake up in the morning and pray that none of this was real. She wanted wanted to call Joe and tell him that she was sorry for storming out. But she wouldn't. She was still hurt by him. And unfortunately she was just too caught up with him, to let him go.

She dragged her feet across the floor, into her bedroom, tossing her bag onto the floor. She sank down onto the bed, letting out a deep breath. It was back to square one. She had lost another friend. Another person who truly knew her.

And Joe did know her. Her knew every little thing about her. He knew they way she would play with her jewellery when she got anxious. The way she could never hold eye contact for any longer than three seconds. The way she could never take a compliment from him, she would shy away and refuse to look at him. The way her favourite colour was yellow, because it reminded her of Caleb. The way she preferred nighttime over daytime because it was more peaceful.

He knew everything little thing, yet he failed to remember that she valued trust more than anything else. Emmie was sensitive, and didn't open up easily. So she could never understand why Joe had chosen to throw that away.

She found herself scrolling through the internet, looking at the multiple articles that were now surfacing. Articles about her, that weren't exactly pleasant.

Emilia Campbell, fame grabber?

Is Emilia Campbell out to ruin Joe Jonas' career?

Joe Jonas denies romance with Emilia, announcing their friendship means nothing - sources claim.

As her eyes scan the words that she had already seen, she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Is this what everyone really thought of her? That she was out to ruin Joe? Emmie knew the truth was far from that. Or so she used to believe. She thought her and Joe has a genuine friendship, but clearly that was no more.

She wanted to cry. She wanted to shut herself away and never have to see anyone again. Joe had warned her this would happen, but what she didn't realise is how it badly it would affect her.

She wished it didn't have to be this way. She wished Joe hadn't meant any of those words. She wished he was there to comfort her. But she couldn't solve her problems, by running straight back into them. She would have to learn to be happy without Joe.

But to Emmie, that was the hardest thing she could do. Joe was her happiness. He was the reason she woke up every morning, excited for the day ahead. He was the reason her smile was visible once again. Joe was the reason Emmie finally felt herself when he was near. Whenever he was around, her mood brightened.

She reached for her journal, flicking through to an empty page. Emmie smiled weakly as she glanced at the pages filled with happy memories, but she didn't stop to look at them properly. If she couldn't have Joe to rant to anymore, then she would write her thoughts down, to try and understand them better. Maybe that way it wouldn't hurt so much to think about.