Taylor Swift Imagines - Book Five (gxg)

driving anxiety (requested)

Author's Note: I don't think this needs a triggering warning but I'm going to put it here just in case.

This chapter contains possibly triggering and sensitive content.

It involves PTSD after an accident and the death of a loved one. It does go into a little detail though not too much.

But if that makes you uncomfortable, please do not read and wait for my next update instead.

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"Are you ready, baby?" Taylor asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

You had already buckled yours since you were in the driver's seat; a spot you haven't been in for over a year now.

You tapped your fingers on the steering wheel repeatedly and chewed on the skin of your lips nervously.

"Baby?" Taylor spoke as she reached over and put her hand on your thigh. "It's going to be okay. You can do this."

You looked at her, hesitant.

But you tried to have the same confidence in yourself and your driving abilities that Taylor had in you.

You took a deep breath before you pulled out of the driveway and got on the road.

"Take a left, get on the freeway."

Your heart dropped at the thought.

But you told yourself that you could do this.

You could do it again.

You would be okay.

You got on the freeway as Taylor instructed you to and for a moment, things were fine.

At least, they were to Taylor.

She was smiling from ear to ear, feeling so proud of you.

"Good job, my love! You're doing great."

But as cars sped by you and flashbacks filled your mind, your anxiety overwhelmed you.

"I can't." You panicked and began to hyperventilate. "I can't! I can't do it, Tay,"

"You can, baby girl. You're doing a fantastic job."

"No! I can't do this, I can't!" You said before pulling over to the shoulder.

You stopped the car as Taylor turned the flashers on.

"Y/N, baby, look at me." She said as she gently cupped your chin.

Your eyes met her worried blue ones and she kissed your forehead softly as you let out a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry." You mumbled. "I'm such an idiot. I can't do it."

Taylor shook her head.

"You're not an idiot. Don't ever talk about yourself that way, especially since it's understandable as to why you're so anxious to drive again."

You bit your lip as you thought back to the last time you were driving.

It hadn't been your fault.

You were a fantastic driver, you were safe and responsible.

That day, it was sunny and warm.

It was so beautiful that your grandmother wanted to go out and enjoy the day and you weren't going to say no when she asked if you could pick her up and spend time with her.

The accident wasn't your fault whatsoever.

Everyone told you that; Taylor, the officers, the medics, your family, and friends.

It had been the fault of the driver that bashed into your car head-on.

They had been texting and driving, finding their conversation more important than keeping their eyes on the road.

Your grandmother passed away in the crash and you had been hospitalized with a few injuries.

You were lucky to be alive, according to the doctors.

But even when your physical scars healed, your emotional and mental ones did not.

The guilt and trauma lingered with you and for a while, you couldn't even get in a car and feel safe doing so.

You always looked over your shoulder, terrified that another trauma loomed in the air.

Thankfully, it didn't, and with time and support from Taylor and your loved ones, as well as a lot of therapy, you managed to overcome the loss.

But you haven't driven since then and you feel so much anxiety being back on the road.

As Taylor brushed her fingers across your cheek gently, a tear fell down your cheek.

"I'm just scared."

"I know you are, darling. But you don't need to be. Because everything's going to be okay. I'm right here with you."

You let out a shaky breath.

"I know you can do this. It's time you try and drive again. You're doing good, you're just freaking yourself out. I understand you're anxious. You went through so much, my love. But you're going to be okay. I promise you, if you keep going, we'll be just fine."

You nodded.

"You used to enjoy driving and I know you will again. I know it's hard and I know it's scary but I also know that you're more than capable. You can do this, baby girl. I believe in you."

"Okay." You said as you shifted around in your seat.

"Just take your time. If you need to go slower and let people pass you, they'll pass. If you need to get off at the next exit and feel more comfortable driving on the side streets instead, we can do that. But whatever you do, I'm here with you and everything's going to be okay."

You put the car back in drive as Taylor turned the flashers off as you waited for the cars to pass so you could merge back onto the freeway.

You went a little slower and some cars went around you and passed you by.

But you didn't mind.

You kept driving.

You kept going.

And you felt the freedom and confidence you once felt as it slowly but surely returned.

"Tay, look! I'm doing it!"

"You are, baby! You're doing so good, I'm so proud of you!" She smiled. "Great job, darling!"

You smiled to yourself as you rolled the windows down just slightly, feeling the wind blow through your hair.

And even though the trauma would always linger with you, you knew your grandmother was watching over you.

And with her watching over you and Taylor,l there by your side to encourage you and help you through your struggles, you'd always be more than okay.