3000 Miles for the Boys [completed]

Chapter 26

I sat in my room for most of the day with the door closed. I didn't want to be around people. It was just too much to bare. It was hard being around Chase, because I really liked him but I was also scared. I had just been in two terrible relationships in a row. I was probably driving these guys to cheat on me.

I continued watching Pretty Little Liars, but I was almost done with all the seasons. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. After my nap I woke up and it was around 8 o'clock. Lydia came upstairs because she hadn't seen me all night, but I faked being asleep. It was easier than explaining it all to her. As she slowly opened the door I had been hoping that she wouldn't notice my heavy-ish breathing and the faint flutter of my eye lids.

She looked in and then slowly and quietly closed the door behind her. I sat back up and continued watching Pretty Little Liars, but before I could I heard her begin to talk to someone. It was Chase. "She had a rough day. It had to do with Jared and they are broken up so I wouldn't say anything to her about it, please," he said. It was sweet that he explained it to her, but still kept my privacy.

"Of course," she said. I didn't expect anything less from Lydia. She was always sweet and understanding. Chase probably got that from her.

Jeff was never really around so I never got to see him much. Actually in the past couple of days I had only seen him at dinner and before school sometimes. He was a quiet person and never really did much. After dinner he would always clean up with Lydia and then they would spend sometime together in the living room and all the boys would go to their rooms or go somewhere else. They were really cute and sweet together. I hoped that I would be able to be in a relationship like that some day.

After Chase and Lydia were done talking, I heard her go to her room back down on the first floor and he went to his. I kept playing the show. I didn't want to worry about other things happening at the moment. I just wanted to watch my show and be at peace.

Little did I know I was far from at peace. All through the night, I only thought about what had happened. I thought about the pain that Jared caused to me. I knew that he wasn't going to last in my life, but I didn't listen to that part of me. I didn't listen to that part of anyone. So many people told me that it was a bad idea to get involved with him, but I didn't listen to any of them. Now they are probably thinking, I told you so. Especially Chase. I feel so stupid. I feel like an idiot. There were so many signs. The guys even told me that I should stop this whole thing, because I could get hurt by him.

It didn't make sense to me why this happened twice. I mean, I hadn't been a bad person, had I? I got straight A's last year. I was nice to everyone at my old school. Why did Jason cheat on me? I understand Jared, because that's how he's always been it seems. But Jason was sweet and kind and smart and caring and funny and charming. He was my friend before we dated. He had only had two girlfriends before me and they didn't last as long. He said he loved me. How could he do this to me if he loved me? He could have at least broken up with me. But he cheated. How long had he been cheating?

Through all of this thinking there were many tears, but the only difference between these tears and the tears I cried before my nap, is that these ones didn't put me to sleep. They only kept me awake. This was the first time I had thought about Jason in a while. This was the first time I questioned what we had.

Last night, before I had fallen a sleep for a bit, I texted him. It probably wasn't a good idea now that I was thinking about it, but I was just thinking about everything and I wanted answers to my questions. I texted him seven times.

9:17 ME: Why did you cheat on me?

11:26 ME: How long had you been cheating?

11:43 ME: Did you want more from me that I wasn't giving to you?

12:13 ME: Is Jessica better than me?

2:38 ME: Was I not enough for you?

3:52 ME: Jason, why did you leave me at a time like this? I needed you. I don't understand why you would leave me like this. You should have just broken up with me. Why did you have to cheat?

4:03 ME: I'm done with you. All I wanted was answers. It drives me crazy that you would ignore me like this after what you did. I'm never talking to you again.

Jason didn't even respond once. I fell asleep around four o'clock and woke up around seven o'clock. I didn't sleep much. When I woke up I didn't remember a lot of the texts. I didn't remember a lot from that night. I was sleep deprived and I was vulnerable and I broke. I texted him after I told myself many times that I wouldn't, but I did.

I wouldn't do it again though. I wasn't going to break like that again.

All I wanted was answers.

I had gotten out of bed early, hoping no one was going to be up. Luckily it was just Oliver and Logan downstairs on the couch watching TV. I grabbed yogurt, an apple and a water from the refrigerator and went back up to my room.

I was planning on spending the whole day in there. I didn't want to be around people. It was too much. They would all ask so many questions and I didn't know the answers. I was confused. I had so many questions of my own. I didn't know why either of them cheated. I didn't know why my parents had to be the ones to die. It should have been me. I deserved it more than them. I was never the perfect daughter. I could have been so much better.

My parents thought Jason was a good guy. They would be ashamed of what he has done to me. They would be even more ashamed in me for falling for Jared. For falling into the trap. They are probably watching over me. They were probably seeing this whole situation play out and they are probably saying I told you so, just like everyone else.

As I was lost in thought my phone vibrated. I rolled over on my bed and grabbed it off the nightstand thinking it would have been Jason, but it was Jared. I opened the text.

8:23 Jared: Hey:) Do you wanna hang out today?

I rolled my eyes at the text. He was ridiculous. I responded fairly quickly, but I was ending things. It wasn't going to be lovey dovey. He wasn't going to get the chance to get me back.

8:25 ME: We're done

8:26 Jared: What?

I didn't respond after that. Then he called me.

"What do you want?" I asked annoyed. I thought the text was pretty clear.

"What do you mean we're done?" He sounded concerned. I doubt he actually cared.

I rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see me. "I mean we're done. Don't call me again." With that I hung up and threw the phone to the end of my bed.

I continued Pretty Little Liars for probably the sixth time this morning and mentally cursed my bad luck with life. It was really annoying that nothing ever went right.