My forever

Chapter 11 - The conversation

After I rang beth and said I needed her she came straight over after I explained the situation she said she could understand my side but she could also see how it would hurt Leah. Beth explained to me that having a baby is not a career ended its just a pause and that things for women are easier now we could do ivf, and I could have Leah's egg or she could have mine. It just provided some more clarity for me and I knew then I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids. But I was damn sure I wanted to have them with Leah. I thanked beth for helping me see things clearly and patiently sat waiting for Leah to come home.

About half an hour later Leah walked through the door. She headed straight up to our bedroom so I followed her and saw she was packing a bag she was crying. 'Whoa baby what's going on why are you packing a bag.' I asked worried. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said I need some time jayde you not knowing if you want to have kids is kind of a deal breaker and I love you so much but ive always wanted kids and I don't know if I can give up on that.' I didn't realise id hurt her this much just because I didn't do enough research. 'Leah baby please come and sit down and talk to me about this.' She stopped and looked ast me 'please' I begged. She came and sat down with me but still kept her distance. I grabbed her hand and said 'baby please look at me. I mean this with all of my heart I love you so so much. You are my everything okay. I will do anything for you. When you left I called beth over and we had a chat. She helped clear some things up for me. I was scared that it would be so hard, too difficult to handle id heard it was a difficult process especially for footballers. But now I know its not true. And I am still terrified about having kids ive never been sure if I even wanted kids.' She looked away from me so I softly grabbed her chin and turned her to face me. 'But I know for sure that I want to have them with you. You are going to be the most amazing mum and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. You are my forever Leah my whole world revolves around you. Please don't leave me.' By this point I'm crying and get down on my knees.

Leah pulls me up and kisses me its wet and salty because of the tears from both of us but I love it anyway. 'Baby I could never leave you you're my whole world too. I couldn't imagine my life without you that's why I was so upset. I'm glad beth could clear some things up for you ill be sure to thank her later.' I got up and laid on the bed with my head on my pillows. 'Please come and cuddle me.' I said 'I need you right now.' Leah moved up to me and laid so I could put my head on her chest 'I will always be here to cuddle you when you need me'. She kissed my forehead and we both just gradually drifted off to sleep, we both needed it after the day wed just had.