My forever

Chapter 45 - Morning Sickness and Hormones

I am nearly five months pregnant now and I am still throwing my guts up every single morning. Doctors say that morning sickness normally eases and goes a completely in between 16 to 20 weeks, it has not for me. I suppose that it could have something to do with it being twins or something genetic, but either way it sucks. Leah, bless her, sits with me every time I'm sick, at least when she's there for it. If she's in the house and I run to the toilet she always comes with me to hold my hair out of the way and also rub my back, she is an absolute saint because if it was not me being sick there is no way in hell that I wuld be anywhere near that bathroom. In fact the smell of my own sick makes me throw up even more, its kind of a vicious cycle that doesn't stop until there is officially nothing left to throw up.

I do feel bad for Leah, I have been more temperamental than ever these past few weeks and it wouldn't have been easy for her, I get annoyed at the slightest little thing and lash out at her and then go crying to her five minutes later saying how sorry I am and begging for cuddles. Take last night:

'Le I swear to god.' I huff out.

'What?' She asks puzzled

'Stop tapping the sofa, I can feel the vibrations and it is really really annoying!'

I know it came out of nowhere but I had been sat quietly stewing about it for a few minutes. I needed to take myself out of the living room to get a drink and just breathe for a minute so I stood up,

'Do you need any help?' Leah asks

'Le I'm fine.' I say in a strop and walk out to the kitchen

I get my water and I'm stood by the side when I actually start thinking about how I've literally just yelled at Leah for tapping. Of all things. Tapping. My eyes start to well up and I begin the same cycle that's been happening for at least the last month, I can hear Leah counting out loud from the living room.

'3...2...1 right on time.' She says as I come back into the living room balling my eyes out, she shifts on the sofa and opens her arms so I can cuddle up to her.

'I'm.. so... sorry.' I cry out between sobs, 'I... didn't... mean... to...lash...out...at...you.'

'Baby how many times have we been over this its okay, it's just the pregnancy hormones I'm not mad, in fact I'm used to it now.'

Yup. SAINT.

Anyway apart from the sickness and hormones the pregnancy was going quite well, both babies were happy and healthy, Leah and I weren't originally sure if we wanted to know the sex of the babies, but as they were twins we wanted to find out if they were fraternal or identical which also meant finding out the sexes. We however didn't find them out, we left that up to Alex and beth to do and they had organised our gender reveal which was tomorrow. They told us that the plan was for me to wear a white dress leah and I were both going to be blindfolded. Then Leah was going to stick both hands into two different plates which had plates on them, obviously they only people that knew the colours were beth and Alex, each plate would represent one of the twins, so if it was two boys, both hands would be blue and so on. She would then place her hands as directed onto my stomach leaving two handprints. Then wed be unblindfolded and we could see the genders of our babies. All of our family's were going to be there and all of the arsenal and most of the England lot too, the ones who could make it anywa, obviously Keira Lucy and Georgia wouldn't be able to make it because they all lived abroad. We'd hoped they could because no one has any games until next week but they were all stuck in training.

We were both ready for this, we were both so excited. 'Were finding out today le.' I said when we woke up. She leaned over and kissed my forehead, it had become too difficult for us to cuddle up in bed now my baby bump was too big and I needed to be surrounded by pillows otherwise I couldn't get comfortable, but Leah has taken to holding my hand whilst were asleep, not even just before she falls asleep her grip doesn't falter, even when she's fast asleep. This woman is my everything. 'I'm so excited baby, what are we going to do if they're identical. They're gonna play tricks on us and well get all confused.' I giggled at her rambling away and grabbed her hand,