Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

Nine Tenths of the Law

Opening shot of the sun over Blood Gulch. It slides down to reveal Sarge and Donut watching over the canyon from Red Base.

Donut: So, just you and me hanging out at the base today, huh Willow and Sarge! This is new. I notice you use a shotgun. That's cool. I just use this pistol. It works for me. (whistles casually) So, you think the guys will be back soon? What do you think they're up to? Do you think they stopped at the store? I noticed we were getting pre-tty low on elbow grease.

Willow: Hey Donut.

Donut: Yeah?

Willow: Your at a ten right now can you turn it down to a four.

Simmons comes up the ramp behind them.

Simmons: Hey, we're back!

Sarge, Willow, and Donut turn around.

Donut: Oh man, am I glad to see you guys! Sarge would not stop talking. Seriously.

Sarge: Grif, Simmons, were you able to work out a suitable exchange?

Grif runs up and stands next to Simmons.

Simmons: (sighs) Uhh, not exactly sir. You see, when we showed up the Blues were doing something, REALLY weird and then w-

Grif: Really weird! And they were rude!

Simmons: Hey dumbass, I thought we agreed I was gonna tell the story.

Grif: (half heartedly) Excuse me! Go ahead!

Simmons: (to Sarge) Well you see, the Blue guys were really weird. And not just normal weird, really weird.

Grif: You're not telling it right.

Simmons: Okay, fine, how do you remember it?

Grif: Well, I remember we agreed that you're a kiss-ass. I got fuzzy on the rest of the details.

Simmons: ANYWAY, they didn't want the prisoner back, sir.

Camera zooms in on Sarge.

Sarge: Why those cunning, blue devils! Does their treachery know no bounds?

Grif: It wasn't a total loss, sir. I was able to steal his wallet.

Sarge: Grif, I may just make a respectable soldier outta you yet.

Grif: Really, sir?

Sarge: Hell no! Now leave the money on my nightstand and get back to work!

Willow: We're in the middle of nowhere. What are you going to do with that money?

Sarge: I just wanted it.

Cut to the Blues.

Church: Alright Tucker, what the hell are we gonna do, man? I gotta get my legs working, here.

Tucker: I don't know, but I can't just keep pulling wires down there. I think we should call in a professional. Maybe someone who can fix Sheila too.

Church: Okay, great idea, but the only three people that can do that are Senior El Roboto, Gus and Tex.

Caboose: Hmm, Tex can be kinda hard to work with.

Tucker: Yeah, dead people usually are.

Church: Quite frankly, Tucker, I find your attitude offensive.

Tucker: Why can't Gus help? You know get him.

Luz: No can do he has something in the works and doesn't want anyone to disturb him.

Church: Great.

Caboose: What about that Lopez person? Is he available?

Church: No. I'm in his body, remember?