Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

Me, Myself and You

V inside Caboose head, with mental images of Caboose and Tucker

Caboose: I see, so you're from the outside. That's where the other is from as well.

V: The other? Wait you mean O'Malley? Have you seen him? Because I want to talk to him. With some blades fingers.

Mental image of Church appears behind Caboose

Mental image of Church: Of course he's seen him, you idiot! You think Mister Caboose would miss something like that, you skeezy douche bag fuck?!

V: Alright, hold on a second. Who the hell are you?

Mental image of Church: My name is Church, butt wiping ass munch!

V: Man this guy is kind of an asshole.

Mental image of Church: And I'm Caboose's best friend, so don't get any ideas about kissing up, you lip licking fuck suck!

V: Okay, there's a lot of stuff in that sentence that I didn't like. I know they said only kill O'Malley your making it really hard not to.

Tucker: I'm gonna go look for girls! (he leaves)

Church: Fine, whatever.

Caboose: If you want to find O'Malley, I suggest we talk to the reds first. He tried to recruit them against me early on.

V: The reds? Oh man I can't wait to see this shit.

Cut to Tex and Church.

Church: Your telling me Luz is your niece!

Tex: Yeah. Look she my brother daughter.

Church: How come you never told me?!

Tex: I never had to. Look can we just focus on killing Boscha.

Church: Ok let's go.

Tex was about to go with Church kicked a wooden plank. She see a painting that was old and torn up. She see Luz and a girl with red hair. But Luz was cry, having cut and bruise and had a black eye.

Tex: You go ahead. I got to look at something real quick. (Going inside the painting. To see what caused Luz to look like that.)

Cut to the real world. Grif, Hunter, and Donut next to the sideways jeep

Grif: Are you sure you left the part in there?

Donut: Hmm, think so. Wait, yes! No. Wait, wait wait wait. Mmmmmmmmm, I think so.

Grif: (sighs) Alright, lets retrace your steps. You said it was the Tuesday before Simmons and Sarge got blown up that you were last in the Warthog, right?

Donut: Right. I know it was Tuesday because that's the day I wash my underwear. And since I don't like letting my armor touch my bare skin, on account of I chafe real easily, I remember thinking "Where can I hang out with no pants on?"

Grif: Oh God!

Hunter: I think going to be sick.

Cut to Lopez as well as Tucker driving Sheila heading towards the red base

Tucker: Okay well, looks like we're close enough. Now if I could just find the brakes on this thing. Ah, it must be this button.

Sheila: Do not touch that button.

Tucker: Oh, sorry. Hmm, maybe it's this one.

Sheila: Do not touch me.

Tucker: You know, for a girl your size, you're kinda sensitive.

Lillith: Or she doesn't want to be touched by someone like.

Sheila: You are right Captain Lillith.

Tucker: Oh come on!

Back to the reds

Grif: I cannot take anymore of this.

Hunter: Oh god I'm going to puke. (Take of his helmet reveal a huge scars on his face. But then throws up.)

Donut: So after I clipped my toenails, I was gonna apply the ointment as recommended. But I don't know, it just smelled really funny. So, I decided to taste it, just to make sure it was safe.

Grif: That's it! I'm committing suicide. (he runs off)

Hunter take deep breaths: I'll help you with that. (Run with Grif.)

Donut: Hey! I didn't finish retracing my steps yet. You don't even know what I did about the boil on my thigh.

Grif: (stops and looks off into the distance) Oh crap!

Hunter: Shit!

Pan to Lopez, Sheila and Tucker approaching'. Grif and Hunter quickly takes cover behind the jeep.

Donut: Hey you're back! So where was I? Oh yeah, I lanced it. Disgusting! (makes creeped out noises)

Grif: Not now, rookie! There's a giant tank out there that's about to steamroll right over us!

Donut: What?! (he hops up and down to see over the jeep and sees Sheila approaching) Oh God it's true! I'm totally freaking out! I'm freaking out! (he runs around in circles)

Hunter: Shut up! We need to think of a plan!

Cut to the blues approaching

Tucker: Oh my God. I can't believe Caboose is smart enough to drive this thing and I'm not! Sheila how the fuck do I slow you down?

Sheila: Retard the throttle.

Tucker: What throttle? This throttle?

Sheila: Retard the controller.

Tucker: You mean this thing? What're you talking about, I'm so confused!

Sheila: The controller, retard!

Tucker: Hey that's kinda insulting. (Sheila repeats the word "retard" over and over as they approach Red base) Oh, come on. Now you're just being mean.

Sheila: Retard.