Red Owl Vs Blue Raven

The Nesting Theory

Fade in to Grif, Hunter, and Simmons looking straight down

Grif: Yep, that's a hole alright.

Simmons: That's what I told you!

Grif: Huh. And Sarge's body is gone.

Simmons: Right. I think it fell through that hole in to the cavern.

Grif: Maybe he just disappeared. Dead things do that when you bury 'em. That's part of the circle of life, you know. It's a miracle when you think about it. No reason to go randomly exploring caves which may or may not contain hundreds of evil bats, that would just be interfering with God's divine plan.

Hunter: Okay, A, Sarge wasn't dead; B, decomposing takes months, not minutes; C, his armour would still be here; and D, shut up, you're going down there. Now.

Grif: Why? What do we really need Sarge for anyway? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck, we'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck. Lucky for us all we need is Hunter.

Simmons: Shut up and get in the hole Grif!

Grif: You suck, Simmons. Hoho man, this new system's already workin' out great! We should have thought of this years ago.

Simmons: Grif, don't you understand that because we lost Sister, we're horribly outnumbered. We already lost Donut and Sarge, now it's four on two. The Blues are probably gearing up for an enormous attack right now. At any moment they're gonna come over that hill, guns blazing yelling "CHAAAARGE!"

Cut to the battleground that suddenly surrounds the Blues as Tex ruthlessly shoots at them

V: Let's going!

V launches at Tex. With Tex shooting a rocket at V but V count the rocket and then throws it back a Tex. Tex rolls out of the away.

Church: RETREAT!!!

Tucker: Aaaaaaahhhh!

Caboose: Running, running, running, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

Sister: Who is that?

Tucker: That's Tex.

Sister: Whoah, he's a badass.

Caboose: (hit) Ow.

Sister: He's kinda hot.

The Blues take cover behind their base

Tucker: Tex isn't a guy, she's a girl.

Sister: Oh, sorry. She's a badass. She's kinda hot! Actually V and Tex are hot.

V wraps her tail around Tex.

V: I knew I would beat you in a fight. And just with my tail no less.

Tex goes invisible and shoots her pistol in V's face freeing her from V tail.

V: Damn it!

Tex reappears and begins firing from behind

V: Fuck! Fuck! Ow!

Turns her hands into guns and starts firing at Tex.

Gus runs on top of the base.

Gus: Well this is the coolest thing I'm ever going to see.

Cut back to the group.

Tucker: She's actually Church's ex-girlfriend.

Luz: She nice when you get to know her.

Sister: Oh yeah? Why aren't you guys dating any more?

Church: Are you seriously asking that question right now?!