Chapter 37: Shivers

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Kanyon

I'm asking you to choose to live...

His words are ringing through my brain, gnawing at me over and over like echoes in a cave. Just nagging at me like a rash. And it's irritating, the scenes from earlier playing out like some kind of film.

"I'm not asking you to forget. I'm asking you to choose to live over choosing revenge. I'm asking what your parents and siblings would ask you to do. That's what I'm asking."

His words fell from his lips and ran through my ears, thick like honey, but bitter in my chest. His eyes bore into mine, shimmering with a certain hope and desperation, pleading for me to do something. Maybe to understand. Maybe to say I would reconsider. Maybe...maybe to say I wouldn't do it.

That only frustrated me more. The fire that was already alit in my chest simmered, sparking and hissing as my heartbeat increased. I gripped onto my arms, digging my nails into the bare flesh as I inhaled sharply and breathed.

"Don't stand there and tell me what my parents and siblings would want for me to do."

His brows shot up, surprise masking his features. "I'm sorry? Don't...don't tell you what your family would want for you?" He furrowed his brows, moving closer. "Am I hearing you correctly?"

I didn't know what it was, but at that moment something in Vash shifted. He went from being soft and caring and morphed into something else. Something that simply emanated power and strength. Something that was hard and rough. Something that hitched my breath.

He puffed his chest, leaning in closer to me, whispering harshly, "I might not have known your family, but even I know they wouldn't want you, the lone survivor and the last of your kin, to do something as stupid and reckless as chasing after their murderer. And they sure as hell wouldn't want you to just throw your life away." He was so close. So close that I could feel the heat radiate off him. And I could see the frustration in his gaze. "Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong, Leilani."

A wave of fire and heat and electric energy zapped to life in me as my name rolled off his tongue. It zipped and darted, charging through me like lightning as I kept my eyes fixated on his. His stare was stormy and wicked, reminding me of the angry waves in books that capsized ships, but they were also familiar and expansive. Pulling me in.

I reached for him, placing my hand on his chest, feeling how his heart raced behind his ribs. It was an angry beat, fast and furious. Similar to mine.

I held his gaze, breathing, "Say it again, Vash. Say my name."

His chest rose and fell heavily, his stare scanning mine when he whispered, "Leilani."

Another wave washed through me as I squeezed my eyes closed, letting my name fall from his tongue and seep into my skin. It felt like sunlight, warm and calming, smelling of something sharp and bitter. It stirred something within me, awakening the danger that hid.

"Again. Say it again." My chest was heaving.

He must have found some amusement because he placed his hands on my hips, leaning in closer as his hot breath caressed my ear. "Leilani." Gently, he kissed my jaw. "Leilani." He kissed my neck, then moved to my lips, hovering as we stared at each other through half lidded eyes. "Leilani."

Our lips met, moving together in this deep but passionate dance, spinning my head. Even after every other time, he still had this effect on me. He still made my body ache and crave him, even when he didn't try. Even when I was furious at him. Even when I wanted to scream that he didn't understand. Even when I wanted to break.

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