At The End Of The String (Insomniacs Series 2)

35

Joaquin De Vera
🏁

"They died in this place and this will be the last time I'll be stepping on it."

I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't focus. It feels like half of my life was taken away from me. Parang kaunti na lang ay mababaliw na 'ko sa galit. I locked myself back in my room since that day Alva told me. I shut down everyone. Everyone except her.

"Thank you for being here, Eia." That nickname, I saw it on one of her bags when I visited her walk-in closet. By just holding my hand, somehow, it's giving me chances to breathe and continue to live despite losing a lot of leaves.

Alas tres pa lang ng umaga kanina ay nandito na kami kaya naman nang makabyahe na muli pauwi ay hinayaan ko na lang siya matulog. Nang makarating na sa bahay ay binuhat ko na lamang siya dahil ayoko siyang maistorbo. Baka kapag ginawa ko 'yon ay may sumalubong na kamao sa'kin. She really does hate being disturbed in her sleep.

"She can join us for breakfast." Rinig ko sa boses ni Alva nang maisara ko ang pintuan ng aking kwarto. Walang emosyon akong tumango sa kanya at nagtungo na sa kusina upang maghain. Ako na ang maghahanda ng pinagkainan niya dahil wala akong tiwala sa kanya. "How was she?" tanong ko kay Raven nang makarating na rin siya rito sa kusina.

"She didn't leave your dad's office. Ngayon lang no'ng dumating kayo."

"Bet she got hungry."

"So? I'm just here to keep an eye on her as you said but I wasn't born to be at her service." Saka siya lumapit sa pwesto ko para tignan ang aking niluluto. Nang tangkain niyang kumuha ay agad kong hinampas ang kanyang kamay. "Para kay Keira 'to. Magluto ka ng iyo," sabi ko kasabay ang paglalagay na ng mga plato sa mesa.

"What? I'm your family, too," he said in disbelief.

"Wife first," pang-aasar ko pa.

"Ulol mo, gago." Mahina niya akong sinuntok sa braso. Binawian ko siya dahil muntik nang matapon ang kapeng ginawa ko. I went back upstairs and finally saw her awake. Ilang minuto lamang din ay narinig namin ang boses ni Alva. Gulat pa akong niyayaya niya si Keira na kumain.

I don't want us to have breakfast with her but Keira's eyes convince me to let things slide for now. For now. Wala na lang akong nagawa. Raven and I were silent, listening to her luxurious experience stories she had from Europe. Nagkakatinginan na lang kami ni Raven. This witch in front of us had fun while we were trying to save our lives back here.

Pasimple na lang din akong umiiling habang pinapakinggan ang tiyahin kong ang sarap ng buhay. Binilisan ko na lang sa pagkain. Ganoon din si Raven. Si Keira ay halos malamig na ang pagkain dahil naka-focus kay Alva. I wanted to pull her out of her seat and leave but thanked God for giving me patience. Nagpalaam na lang akong lalabas saglit. I pulled my vape out of my pockets. Ngayon ko na lang ito ulit nagamit. Naupo ako sa isang hakbang ng hagdanan at sinimulan nang humipak.

🏁

I was left behind with all of these works, giving me no time to mourn. But on the other hand, I have something to get busy with, to distract myself from the grief. The renovations are almost done. Our other Womanscape branches are also hiring. Our business is starting to grow slowly as it should be.

"Makakaraos tayo, Dad..." I said to myself after closing the doors of my office, leaving our Womanscape branch in Laguna. Ito na ang pinakahuli kong pinuntahan ngayong araw. Tuwing umuuwi sa bahay ay sa kwarto na ako nadiretso. I'm exhausted, feels like I'm just surviving the days.