❤️‍🩹 HEART OF A PLAYBOY ❤️‍🩹

Chapter 34: Breaking The Cycle

Nanon and Jane were still holding hands as they sat on Ohm's bed. They were both wrecked with emotions and didn't know what words to say to each other but however, they were sure they were not letting go of each other's hands anytime soon.

"So..."

Jane started when she saw Nanon looking down at his feet, unable to string his words together. Jane believed that this encounter was a little bit unfair to Nanon given the fact that she knew they were going to meet but Nanon didn't. So she thought she might as well start the conversation.

"I assume you are living here with Ohm?" 

She asked, starting from a totally different topic because she didn't know how to talk about the topic they should actually speak about. 

"Huh?" 

Nanon asked surprised and Jane chuckled.

"Ohm referred to this room as our room when he mentioned you to take me here. So I assumed you are living here with him."

She pointed out and Nanon chuckled nervously. He didn't know what to tell. That he was dating Ohm after breaking her heart? Would Ohm want Jane to know? If so how should he say it nicely? Nanon really didn't know. 

"Uh-huh."

He replied awkwardly and that was when he heard Jane sigh.

"You don't have to be scared to tell me that you like Ohm and now you guys are dating. I had already known for a while you might be."

"What?"

Nanon asked clearly taken aback and that was when Jane looked into Nanon's eyes.

"You always loved him, Nanon. He was the only one you ever wanted. You only started hanging out with other people when he left to study and you wanted someone to vent you frustration. I have known all along that you never loved me and it was my stupidity I hoped that things would change."

"Don't say like that. I love you."

"Yeah, just not like that. You love me but as a friend, as a sister. It took me some harsh lessons to realize that."

"Look Jane, I'm so sorry."

The words escaped Nanon from the bottom of his heart. He didn't know when he will be able to stop apologizing to her. 

"I know I was a complete asshole. I know all you wanted was for me to be there for you and take care of you just like you were always there for me. But I was a coward. I was scared I would not be able to take care of you when I couldn't even take care of myself. My life was a mess and when I heard you got pregnant because of me, all I could think was the problems it would cause me and not what you would go through. I know I have been really selfish and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but Jane..."

A sob escaped Nanon's lips as he leaned down to Jane's shoulder and cried on it.

"I'm desperate for it, you know? I'm desperate for your forgiveness. I'm desperate to have my best friend back whom I lost out of stupidity. I know I'm being selfish again but I'm desperate to have your love back. You are one of the few people in my life who genuinely cared about me and loved me and I want that back. I want our friendship back. Please Jane, I'm so sorry..."

Jane didn't know when she started crying but even before she knew, she was crying along with Nanon. She was crying for everything they had gone through together. For all the smiles and laughters they shared, for the quality time they spent, for the baby they lost, for the connection they lost, the mistakes they made and moreover anything, for how desperate they were both to have each other back as before. 

Years ago, Jane would have never thought they would be in this position but right now all she wanted was to forgive Nanon and break the cycle so it won't turn vicious.

"Nanon..."

She cried as she hugged the boy who was crying on her shoulder and hid her face in his neck, sobbing together. It felt so good to hug Nanon again, to feel the familiarity of love and warmth they shared.

"Nanon..."

Jane said pulling away, Nanon still crying, his whole body shaking along with him. Then she wiped his tears and made him look at her.

"I forgive you."

She said ever so softly and gently as if placing a feather on a soft pillow and she swore to lord the sobs she heard from Nanon the moment those words escaped from her was literally unbearable to hear. 

It was as if a huge burden was lifted off him. It was as if that was all he wanted in his life. 

They kept crying on each other's shoulders for quite a while until both of them could calm down and once they were caught up with their breaths, they looked at each other and smiled, for the first time in almost two years. 

"You are still such a crybaby."

Jane teased Nanon as Nanon's lips were still quivering and Nanon flapped Jane's hands that were wiping his tears.

"Shut up. This just feel all too surreal for me. I never thought there would be a day I would look you in the eye and smile again."

"Right? Me neither. And I don't think they have either."

Jane said cocking her brow making Nanon listen to the dead silence from Bright and Ohm in the other room.

"What do you think they are doing?"

She asked and Nanon chuckled.

"Probably thinking we are clawing each other's eyes out."

"I know right? That is how those men think. Tell me honestly, did Ohm give you a hard time when he first found you?"

Jane asked and Nanon's face instinctively retracted at the thought. The punches and kicks Ohm gave him was better forgotten in his mind.

"It was that bad?" 

Jane asked in surprise as she looked at Nanon's face and Nanon nodded timidly before he held Jane's hands and said with a smile.

"I will fill you in with the information, I promise. But should we go out and see what they are doing now?"

Jane chuckled, understanding Nanon was not ready to talk about it yet and then nodded as they both stood up and walked to the door, holding hands, just like when they were kids. 

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