Because, Its Halal - muslim Romance #Wattys 2015#YourStoryIndia

Chapter 48 - The Confused Mind

"May Allah SWT ease the small and Major troubles in all of your lives. From the ones hidden from the world to the very severe. May Allah bring comfort to you all"

The confused mind.

I look at him and there was regret all over his face.
He was surprised at his reaction too, I knew I was at fault and Zaroon was at fault too but I also knew that I crossed my limit. The argument was between him and me, I didn't have to bring his family into it.
If I hadn't told certain things it wouldn't have led to this but also if he hadn't cheated on me none of this would have happened.

I couldn't look at him. I didn't have the courage within me.
My gaze was stuck to the floor and I could see his legs slowly walking away.

They go and stop near the kitchen door I look upto see and was startled.

Arzoo stood there with horror in her eyes.
Zaroon couldn't make eye contact with her, he was ashamed of his actions. He puts his head down and walks out.

With the support of the table I walk to the kitchen sink. No I wasn't physically hurt, but I was mentally exhausted so much that I was finding it hard to even walk.

I open the tap and splash some cold water on my face, no matter how many times I did it, the heat of the slap just wouldn't go.

But that didn't hurt me, his words did.

I take support and walk till the kitchen door where Arzoo stood blankly.

"Ayaat..."
"Dont even bother" I say and walk out.

I make my way upstairs to my room, I knew Zaroon wouldn't be there, he was filled with guilt and he needed forgivness he would have gone to pray Isha salah I told myself.
I atleast knew him that much or I hoped so.

I get into my room and latch the door. Then slide down on the floor, leaning the door.
I was sitting on the floor, with hardly any light except the moon light.
Like the room my heart was also filled with darkness.
I bring me knees close to my chest and put my head on it. I recall every word in the argument.

I break down.

I burst out crying, I didn't have to control it now, I didn't have to show anybody my pride.

I cried and cried I dont know for how long until I had no more tears to shed.

I get up and switch on the light, I look at the watch, it was 9:45.
I walk to the bathroom and make wudhu. I looked so differant.
The person in the mirror was nothing like me.

My eyes were puffy and swollen and I looked like a red tomato. There was something else too.
The mark of Zaroon's hand, I take some water in my cupped palms and pour it on my face and rub it vigourously.

I just wanted to erase it, the puffy eyes the red cheeks, the mark of his hand. I just wanted everything to go.
But they just wouldn't go.

So I forget it and go out. I take my prayer mat and begin to pray Isha.
I sob while praying, while making dua, while in prostration.

I finish and lay down on the bed, I look at the ceiling. Now I stopped crying I only concentrated on what I should do next.
I knew the argument wasn't over, when Zaroon came back we would have huge fight again and I wanted to do everything I can to stop it but I also wanted to know the truth.

I get up and walk to my wardrobe, I pick out my suit case from the top shelf with difficulty and drop it down.

I begin to fill it with clothes as many as I could, I didnt know if I was going to come back all I knew was I wanted to be away from Zaroon for sometime. To calm myself and stop myself from doing anything more stupid.