Captivated, Cursed: Alpha Linc | 18+

Episode 12

I'm not sure how long we've been sitting here, eating in complete silence. The food looks and smells delicious but I can't even taste it. I've been shuffling it around on my plate with my fork, trying to make it look like I'm eating. It's only been a few days, everything is still too fresh, too painful. I don't want food, or air, or any of the other pesky things needed to continue living.

I look up at him through my lashes just as he brings his spoon to his soft lips, taking in some soup. I can't help but wonder why I'm here. Growing up the way I did, pity makes my blood boil. I don't want pity or sad-eyed glances. I clear my throat, causing him to finally look up at me, his brows pulling together, almost as if he's surprised that I'm sitting here.

"Why are we having dinner together? You don't have to pity me, Your Majesty. I appreciate the gesture but it's not necessary."

I'll blame it on my grief but I don't feel much like showing proper reverence for his position.

"It's not pity, I just... I understand what you're going through, we all do. Better than you know," his voice is rough and there is a hint of anger in his tone. It could be that I don't know him and that is just how he sounds, displeased, all the time.

The same understanding from earlier swirls through his eyes. He holds my gaze, looking at me like he's trying to analyze me, somehow. I don't say anything, I just stare at him, waiting.

"I'm sure you've heard the rumors about me... about what I did..."

I shake my head and an unidentifiable look comes over his face.

"You haven't?"

"I mean, I've heard things about you, sure. I remember several years ago there was buzz through the Kingdom but I had a lot going on during that time, I wasn't really paying attention to gossip about you," I think back sadly. That was a particularly rough time in my life, I didn't have the capacity to focus on rumors.

"I'm cursed," he spits out like he's telling me the most normal, casual thing, "No one in the Kingdom knows. They know what I did, at least partially, but they don't know how I've been made to atone for that sin."

"Cursed?"

"Yes, we all are. Early in my reign as Alpha King, I made a mistake, I ignored a warning from the Moon Goddess, and as a result, a small pack was killed. As punishment, she placed a curse on me and my entire house. None of us will ever find our mates. We will never feel the bond to another."

"I-I'm so sorry..."

He puts his hand up, effectively stopping me.

"I'm not looking for pity either, or apologies, I just... I know the beginning is particularly difficult, coming to terms with it. Maggie is upset that you haven't been eating, so I brought you for dinner. It's not for pity. You're a part of a really fucking shitty club, one that you didn't ask for."

I have so many questions. I swallow them down, forcing myself not to be nosy and push him for more information.

I feel a burning in my chest, a deep, painful sadness for all of them. I don't know how I will feel in a year, in two years, in ten. I only know how I feel right now, in the newness of everything. It is a strange sensation to miss someone that you don't even know so desperately. I never met my mate, so I don't have a name or a face to place with the ache but it's there just the same.

"Does it get better?" I whisper.

"Not really," he pulls his lips into a small, sad smile.

I bite into my lip and look down at my plate again. I appreciate his honesty, though I wish the answer was different.

"You get used to it, but it doesn't get better. Wolves can't be complete without their mate. The Moon Goddess designed us this way, to need our other half. We've been doomed to live incomplete lives, to have a piece of our destiny withheld."

He says this with no emotion. This explains so much, his reputation, his anger, the unhappiness that hovers over this place like a raincloud. The heaviness that hangs here is similar to the one pressing on my chest, it makes sense now.

He takes a few bites, looking down at his plate as he eats.

"Do you remember how to get to the kitchen from your living space?" he asks suddenly.

"Y-Yes."

"You may use the kitchen for cooking or baking if you would like to, but that is the only extension to your permitted zones. Luke added you so that you can shift and run within the set boundaries."

I nod. I don't know what to make of this. I appreciate his kindness but I don't understand it. He's so hot and cold. One minute he looks at me like a pesky flea, the next he's offering me more access to the grounds.

"Thank you, Your Majesty" I nod, whatever the reason, I'll take it. If I ever feel like I can enjoy anything ever again, if the color ever comes back into the world, I will probably like to be able to bake.

"You can call me Lincoln."

My eyes go wide, "I... ok."

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