Episode 43

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I can hear Linc shouting before I reach his office. I push the door open to a scene that has played out in front of me several times in the past few days.

Lincoln is stalking angrily through the room, yelling at someone who is probably wholly undeserving of it, while Cam is furiously typing on a laptop in the corner.

They both look up as I enter the room but continue with their tasks.

"Un-fucking-believable!" Linc shouts as I take the seat behind his desk, "How hard can you possibly be looking? I refuse to accept that you can't catch a single trace of him anywhere!"

The tense muscles in his broad shoulders flex beneath his shirt. Overall, he looks like a rubber band that is about to snap. His whole body is tightly wound.

"Lincoln, hang up the phone."

I'm surprised by how clear and authoritative my voice sounds given how noticeably my hands are trembling.

He turns to face me, confusion etched into his face. I notice Cam's head comes up, he's staring with furrowed brows.

"Hang up the phone."

"I'm, um, going to have to call you back. Have something more than 'I don't know' for me when I do." He angrily hangs up the call before crossing his arms and staring at me.

"I'm ending this today, Lincoln. I know you don't believe that my conversation with the Moon Goddess was real, you think it was some kind of fever dream but... enough is enough. We can't go on like this."

"We can't go on looking over our shoulders forever, waiting for him to come back. I don't understand what you want from me. Should I just pretend like he's not out there, dangerous?"

"Linc, look how angry and obsessed you've become. Give this task to someone else. Everyone here needs a break. I need you to come back to me. I want my Lincoln, not a raving angry lunatic!"

I bite into my lip. I wanted to have a calm conversation, not a fight. "I'm sorry. I just miss you and I want you to step back and look at this objectively..."

He cuts me off, "Objectively? Josephine, my friend tried to make hybrid children using parts he was going to steal from your body! I've known him for years, we've shared meals, I've welcomed him into my home, into this office! I can't just sit around while he runs free, hurting people. What if he comes after you again? I have to make sure you are safe!"

"You don't know what he will do. Maybe he's gone into hiding and he won't ever come back. We can't live like this. Everyone is miserable. No one sleeps, we haven't shared a meal together in days...please. Come get some sleep then we can cook together. We'll make a meal for everyone."

I look up at him with hopeful eyes, searching for any sign that I'm getting through to him.

"I can't do that tonight. Cam and I are going to a small city in the north. Several of his known accomplices have been seen there, we're going to look."

My heart sinks.

"You're leaving? When?"

"In a few hours."

"Were you even going to tell me?"

"Of course I was. We'll be home late tonight."

For a moment I don't speak, I can't. The lump that has formed at the back of my throat is making it impossible for me to hold myself together.

"Lincoln, please don't go, don't leave me alone."

Every word burns on its way out. I don't want him to see me cry. I don't want this to be emotional, I want to have a rational conversation.

"Jo, I have to, it's not even a question. This is the first time in a week that we have a reliable lead to follow."

"Lincoln, please don't go, don't leave me alone."

"You won't be alone, Luke and Maggie will be here with you."

He's missing it. It's going right over his head.

"I want you," my voice shakes as I press my nails into my palm, desperate for any distraction that will keep me from crying.

"I'll be here tonight."

I nod silently, no longer trusting my voice to speak. As I walk toward the door I avoid eye contact with both of them.

My wolf whimpers as I wordlessly beg him to stop me, to grab me and kiss me, to tell me he loves me. With each step my feet grow heavier, dragging against the ground.

Before I can fully open the door he's dialing the phone, right back to business.

Tell me you have something," he snaps into the phone.

"I love you," I whisper into the mind-link but I know he won't hear it, he's too busy yelling

Instead of going to our shared room, I find myself walking through my old hallway, staring at the doors to my old rooms.

I sit on my old terrace, watching the breeze blow across the lake. The minutes turn into hours, the bright sun moving through the sky until it starts to set.

Once the darkness has settled around me everything feels even more still. The quiet is deafening and I can't stand it anymore.

I've been alone for much of my life but this feels different. I've had a taste of companionship, of love, and affection. Being alone now feels more lonely than ever before.

I need space to think. I feel like I'm suffocating. The castle feels like a prison again. Suddenly, it hits me, I know exactly where I can go.

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