Hawai'i Talks Story [Countryhumans and Statehumans Oneshots]

Scientific Means

A/N: Umm this started  as an analysis of Britain and his fish guts/ref brains... Now it's almost 3,000 word vomit for y'all. TW: Racist and outdated language

-1843-

Britain, if he was human, he thought often, would have liked to be a scientist.

Since he was young, he had always professed himself to be rather scientific in his approaches to things. Meticulous, planned, everything placed how he liked it.

He liked to look at things in those ways, test waters, constantly adapt to an ever changing world. The journals and articles pouring in were fun to scour, looking at all the new discoveries of flora and fauna he could never imagine being anywhere near his heart and home.

And so the colonies, of course, intrigued him. From Hong Kong to Tasmania to New South Wales, the little differences in flowers found here and there, the animals, the people, the savages. It was all such fun to expand upon his knowledge of these things.

Britain brought himself out of his thoughts for a moment to look at the sky, squinting. It was only a little past noon today, France surely wouldn't be this late, if she was to show up at all. Oh well, it was her loss to not be in his company for the hour. He was a busy man, of course. He was sure he had... something to do.

As if on queue, France appeared. Wearing a man's shirt, she brushed off seemingly invisible dirt. Of course she was fencing, she had always loved that kind of rough sort of activity.

Though he'd never admit it, France was much better at fencing than he ever was.

"Still prancing about pretending to be a man, I see." Britain said, taking into account her clothing, extremely unladylike and obviously only worn because of the strenuous nature of the activity.

"Still a homely bastard's son, I see." France said pleasantly, replying in French and pushing her hair back, and looking down the edge of the rapier that she held in her hand as she pointed it at Britain. "Fencing's very possible to perform in more ladylike apparel, I just so happen to choose to practise in something less restricting."

"We're speaking in English for this meeting, France." Britain said, trying not to let his annoyance get to the better of him. That wouldn't do.

"We are? I didn't even notice, mon cher." France replied, a grin playing on her lips. She sat grandly in the chair across from Britain, and tilted her head "So, how are you, how's the little savage you took recently? Hawaï, yes? Still alive for the most part, I suppose?"

"There's no reason to kill her." Britain said. "She is still at a point where she wouldn't be a problem."

"Alright." France said, relenting to speak in English, her grin widening a little as she put her chin on her hands. "Oh, you are no fun."

"Well, if we are to assume what I hear about Tahiti is corre-" Britain was interrupted by France, who glared at him with a look that would kill those of fainter hearts.

"It is not your place to speak of Tahiti." France said cooly, looking over with distaste. You know I did what I had to, Britain. And don't pretend as if you are a holy man with no blood on his hands."

"I meant nothing by it. I was saying, Tahiti is yours, and I am completely alright with that." Britain said. "This... situation is simply temporary. Though Lapance didn't help your reputation with her either."

"Well, good on you for leaving some of the world for the rest of us." France replied, "And Lapance was right to show La Petite Canette that her actions do have consequences. If she wants to be a real nation, she needs to be able to bite back."