traded my life [TWD]

『35』

"See, you don't get it yet, but we're literally best friends," I inform Daryl.

"Keep telling yourself that," he scoffs.

I put my feet on the wall, my body upside down as I sat backward on the couch. My hair touches the floor and I take another drink of wine out of the bottle upside down.

Daryl sat on the floor with his back to the wall. I passed the bottle to him and he takes a heavy swig.

"Carol said I have PTSD," I add. "Whatever that is."

"PTSD? I got that, too."

"Oh, yeah?" I question.

"Yeah. PTSD- Push that shit down," Daryl figures.

"I question your validity, dude."

Daryl hands me the bottle back and tosses the cork up in the air, catching it as it falls.

"I feel.. trapped," I admit. "Like this place is a big cage."

"You ain't alone."

"I know. Carol said that, too, but-"

"Nah, I mean I get it. I feel the same."

"For real?"

Daryl nods once. "Like a prison."

I point at him with my free hand. "That's the one. I'm so used to doing my own shit. Now, I feel like I'm not in control of myself. My choices."

"Merle and I bounced place to place before all this. Motels. The truck. Parking lots. Campsites," he confesses. "Even the camp felt like a prison. Being tied down like that."

"I lived with Shane before all this. To be honest, I was kinda trapped there for a long time, too. I guess end of the world released me from the cage."

"Y'all go back to before all this?"

I nod. "Shane saved my ass. Rick, too. Back when I was Carl's age. Younger."

"That long?"

"Family was wrapped up in gang shit. Dad was killed. Mom went back to Korea to search for the killer. Sister went missing. Aunt was a bitch that beat the shit out of me," I list off nonchalantly. "Got arrested with a friend because we got caught in a sting operation. No guardian would answer, so the officer called Rick. He sent Shane to get me and bring me back. Been living with Shane ever since."

"But, y'all knew each other prior?"

"Mhm. Rick was the Tom to my Jerry," I recall. "I made their jobs and lives a living hell. They let me off with warning after warning."

"You been arrested more times than I have," Daryl jokes.

"No, shit?"

"Merle was in and out of prison my whole life. I didn't want to deal with cops so I didn't get caught doing shit."

I tap my fingers on my stomach, the alcohol and upside down position making me feel dizzy. "You still got those meds?"

"They're in the truck. I thought we would be able to go back."

"Maybe Jenner has enough," I decide. "Did you deal?"

"I bought for Merle sometimes. But, I wasn't hooked or anything."

"That's a goddamn lie," I snort.

"What?"

"Come on. I was around gangs and became an EMT driver. I know what a fuckin' detox looks like, Ahjussi."

Daryl quirks a grin. "Got high a couple of times. Just to take the edge off."

"No judgment," I swear. "Hell, if I had a joint I'd blow that shit now. I haven't had a hit in years, but damn."