traded my life [TWD]

『45』

"Hyejin!" Lori calls across the field.

"Fuck me," I sigh and change course from my tent to the fire.

Once I make it there, I see Carl, Rick, Shane, and Dale.

"What?" I ask Lori.

"You understand that the reason I trust you with my son is because you can protect him, right?" Lori asks.

I cross my arms and lean on the tree beside Dale. "Yeah. And?"

"And so I don't appreciate you teaching him your.. your thug actions-"

"Whoa, hey," Shane calls, interrupting her.

"Lori," Rick scolds.

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"My son is not your lackey," she continues. "And I knew that trusting him with you was a mistake-"

"Lori!" Rick calls, a bit louder and sternly.

I kick myself off the tree. Dale holds his hand up between Lori and I.

"And now he is lying and stealing?" Lori questions and scoffs. "This is your fault. You understand that, right?"

"What the hell are you even talking about?" I ask.

"Carl stole a gun from the RV. He had it on him," Shane reveals. "He wants to learn how to shoot."

"Carl wants to be a helping member of the group and you're blaming me?" I ask Lori. "Wow. How fucking dare I teach Carl to take care of himself instead of cradling a thirteen-year-old boy like he's a toddler!"

"So, you admit that you told him to steal the gun?"

"No! I didn't tell him to steal shit!"

"Lori, I think you're jumping to a lot of conclusions here," Shane admits.

"I think Hyejin is not owning up to her mistakes-"

"Yeah?" I ask with a sarcastic laugh. "That makes two of us, huh, Lori?"

She gives me a warning look. I look at where Carl is sitting at the picnic table.

"Why'd you do it?" I ask Carl.

"I wanted to help find Sophia," Carl answers. "And now.. now you're all fighting."

My eyes dart to Lori. "You're gonna punish him for wanting to find his friend?"

"It's not that I don't want him to find his friend, it's that he is lying to Dale and stealing!"

"Why are you blaming me for this one mistake he made? Did it ever occur to you that maybe he's acting out because you're a shit mother?!"

"Hey!" Shane shouts and pulls me back. He turns me around and urges me away. "Take a walk. Breathe."

I scoff and storm off. I hold my middle finger up over my head as I walk away.

I was seething in anger.

Lori always saw me as nothing more than a criminal. Sure, I made mistakes. Sure, I fucked up big time when I was Carl's age and older. But, I was trying to turn my life around. I did. I was clean and happy and not a criminal. But, Lori.. no, she never saw past that young girl that sat at the station once a week.

I was right about her all along. It wasn't that she was warming up to me when Rick got shot. She was alone and leached off of whoever was closest. That's just who she is. While Shane fucked her problems out of her head, I was watching her kid and keeping him safe. She's a leach who sucks the life and spirit out of people. No wonder Rick hated his life before he was shot. 

--

After the millionth argument between Lori and I, most of the group left out for shooting practice.

That included everyone except Glenn, Dale, Hershel, Maggie, Daryl, and I.

Glenn and I sat at the campfire and stared at the burnt wood.

"So.. Lori's pregnant," Glenn speaks carefully. "And Jenner told you that at the CDC?"

"He didn't tell me who. He just said one of the women was,"  I clarify. "It was between Lori and Carol. Go figure it was the bitch."

"Thought you and Lori were friends?"

Everyone else felt suffocating. it had been awhile since Glenn and I had caught up.

"Lori and Shane had an affair," I reveal.

Glenn's eyes widen.

"And she dragged me in the middle of it."

"Does.."

"Rick doesn't know," I help out.

"You know I suck at lying, right?"

"I'm not asking you to lie. I'm telling you to keep your mouth shut," I rephrase.

Glenn takes off his cap and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Good thing you and Maggie have condoms, I guess," I try to joke.

"There's walkers in the barn."

I look at Glenn and he looked disappointed in himself for saying anything.

"What?" I ask.

"There's.. there's walkers in the barn," he sighs. "Hershel keeps walkers in the barn."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maggie just said to trust her, but.. I can't imagine what would make him do it."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Dale," he answers. "And I think he went to talk to Hershel."

I huff out a breath and lean forward in my seat. I put my head in my hands and question how we got here.

"I think our communication as a group sucks," Glenn admits.

"You're telling me," I scoff.