traded my life [TWD]

『31』

My feet were in Shane's lap and he used my shin as a table to rest his plate. I held my own to my chest and indulged in the meal that Amy and Andrea were able to catch for us.

I know that this fish-fry thing was meant to get our minds off of things. But, I couldn't deny how worried I was considering T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn, and Rick hadn't made it back from Atlanta and it was dark.

"I like what the father said to his son when he gave him a watch," Dale starts his story upon being asked about his own watch. "It had been handed down through generations. He said 'I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire which will fit your individual needs no better than it did mine or my father's before me'."

Shane sets his empty plate on the ground beside him and rubs my legs that were freezing despite the fire beside us.

 "'I give it to you, not that you may remember time.. but that you may forget it. If only for a moment. And not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it'," Dale speaks, relaxing and calm in the atmosphere.

I stare at Shane's hand on my leg and sigh to myself.

I think about earlier and how the other women were talking about the things they missed.

I still wasn't sure what I missed. If there even was such a thing for me.

Then, I recall Lori and I's brief argument.

Maybe I missed the old Lori. Or maybe this was the old one, just coming back after muzzling herself.

Shane didn't change much. Not yet, at least. I feared the thought of him turning into someone I no longer recognized.

I didn't miss the old me. I liked this version of myself the best. I had the better parts of the young and crazy me whilst being able to handle my own shit like an adult. My mouth might still get me in trouble like it did with Ed, but I didn't worry about not being able to protect myself and those I love.

Time. Dale's story rings through my head. 

I never really paid attention to time. I guess my morals of then and now are the same as Dale's story. It was Shane who taught me not to worry about future and fears. Live in the now.

A scream rings through the air and I startle. 

Shane perks up, looking for the source as others follow.

"Amy!" Andrea screams from beside me.

I look behind us to the RV where Amy was previously in the bathroom. She rips her arm free of a walker that was biting her and falls to the ground.

Panic seeps in and I jump to my feet. Shane raises his shotgun and I pick up the hatchet Morales was using to cut firewood for the party. 

"Get down! Get down!" I shout at Lori and Carl.

Lori throws her arms over Carl's head and tucks him away in her arms. I swing the large axe at the walker that was getting close. It was heavy, so my body swung with the motion. It lodged in the walker's head and as the dead body falls to the ground, I stumble over myself and my still healing ankle, barely managing to catch myself before I fell to the ground.

"Work to the RV!" Shane shouts.

"Go on! I'll catch up!" I call back to him.

"Hyejin!" Carl cries in distress.

Morales suddenly pushes me aside, swinging a baseball bat and hitting the walker that was inches from me.

Once it is dead, he holds his hand out to me. I grab it and he jerks me back up to my feet.

"Carl, go!" I call, reaching out to grab her and Sophia from the fire pit.

"What do we do?" Carol panics, holding Sophia to her chest.

"RV! Go to the RV!" I repeat Shane's orders.

"What about you-"

"I'm fine. Go!" I demand.

Morales sends his wife and two kids forward as well. I see a small group beginning to form of safe people at the RV.

"Hyejin!" 

I turn around, ready to slam the large weapon against another walker, but don't see one. 

"Here!" Rick shouts, tossing a gun in the air.

I couldn't quite comprehend the fact of him being back yet. I snatch the gun out of the air and load it, aiming the pistol and firing to the walkers just the way Shane had taught me all those years back at the shooting range.

I'd shot five or so walkers down. The shots lessen, then they stop. I pace around with my gun drawn, hands shaking in front of me. A few strands of my hair goes in my face and as I breathe out- stuttered and harsh- they rise and fall.

The walkers were all dead. I slowly lower my gun and get pulled into a hug by Jacqui. I sniffle and hug her back with one arm around her, the other still holding my gun in case something snuck up behind us.

"I remember my dream," Jim's voice is the first we hear. "Why I dug the holes.."

𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝒶𝓂𝒷𝓁𝑒𝓈--

i have had a reawakening of my love for this book helo