traded my life [TWD]

『37』

My ambulance had never felt so quiet.

I drive with one hand, the other tangled in my hair and propped on the door. I follow behind Dale's RV, Rick behind me and so on.

I was so used to having Jacqui in my passenger seat. Now.. it was just me. Alone. Even more so than before.

Dale puts the brakes on and I stop behind him. I don't feel like getting out, so I just wait as everyone else piles out of their cars. I roll the window down and poke my head out.

"Hose," Glenn answers as he walks by, already reading my mind. "We're gonna loot the cars in the traffic jam here."

I turn the vehicle off and nod. "On my way."

Glenn walks away to get to work. I take a deep breath and grasp the necklace around my neck. I hop out of the ambulance and look around, holding my hand to my forehead to block the sun.

Everyone was already working. I decide to join in, but also stray away at the same time. I stick to myself and go through the vehicles. I set aside clothes, food, and batteries I knew we needed, still feeling as quiet and lifeless as ever.

When I find the keys in one of the cars, I open the trunk. The sight of a baby's diaper bag makes my skin crawl for a multitude of reasons.

I push aside the fact of a baby death nearby and recall Jenner's words as I pick through the supplies.

Of all times.. why would he tell me that one of the women in the group is pregnant?

Even so.. who is it?

Surely Jenner wasn't such a shitty person that he let Jacqui kill herself while pregnant.. Then again, he did try to lock all of us, Carl and Sophia included, in that bomb. Jacqui was older, though. And she told me that she was single.

Andrea was also single. I doubt her vibrator could shoot out kids. It couldn't be her, either.

Carol was likely.. she already had Sophia. Ed only died recently.

Lori.. God forbid she was pregnant. The last thing we needed was for Lori super hormonal and bitchier than usual.

And me.. it couldn't be me, either.

Lori or Carol.. 

"Fuck me," I groan, tossing the diaper bag on the ground. 

Why did Jenner have to tell me that? Was he genuinely worried about us? He said to find a shelter fast.

How far along until a pregnancy even shows up in a blood test? I was just a driver that picked up on shit that went down behind me. I wasn't an actual doctor.

"Hyejin!" Rick hisses my name.

I startle and turn around.

"Get down! Walkers!" he whisper-shouts before running away to warn others. 

The words were hardly comprehended in my brain. I start to ask what he meant, so caught up in pregnancy thoughts. Then, I catch the smell of death. Walkers. Shit.

I panic and jump into the trunk of the car, pulling it down but not enough for it to latch and lock me inside.

It only takes a couple of seconds until I hear the growls and shuffling footsteps. I pull my lips in a tight line and ignore the awkward position my body was contorted in.

Stuck in the dark, small area, I recall Carol's words. Claustrophobic. I wasn't before. I might be now.

Just when I take a deep breath to calm myself, a hand slams against the trunk and shuts it.

"Fuck," I whisper to myself.

A walker must've bumped it as they walked by. My thoughts are confirmed as another body bounces off of the trunk before walking away.

I put my hand on my chest, feeling my racing heartbeat in my throat. The necklace Jacqui gave me tangles in my fingers. I close my eyes. Breathe. It's fine. They're almost gone.

Things go quiet outside, making it even more silent in the trunk. My shaky breath echoes in the confined space.

Then, a scream breaks through the air.

I couldn't quite tell if the scream was from Carl or Sophia.

Panic seeps in more than before and I slam my feet and hands against the trunk. Go. I had to go help.

"Come on!" I beg, kicking the trunk, though it doesn't budge.

I feel the old resemblance of a panic attack set into my body, making my blood feel like I was full of stinging hornets.

"God! Fuck!" I cry, elbowing the backseat.

A hand pats the trunk and my breathing mirrors something of hyperventilation.

"Hyejin?" Glenn asks.

"Dead bitch locked me in," I answer, a sob choking out from my stomach.

Glenn wriggles the keys that are still in the lock and pulls the trunk open. I gasp a newfound breath of fresh air and roll out of the trunk.

The panic attack and fear send my head spiraling. The motion only makes me feel more unsteady on my feet. Glenn rests a hand on my back, helping comfort me. I double over and dry heave a few times, the attack still eating me alive.

"Those screams," I gag out. "Who.. what.."

"Sophia was running from walkers. Rick went after her," he answers.