traded my life [TWD]

『39』

My manic pacing stops when the front door opens.

I see pure red when the large man walks inside, following behind Rick and Shane.

"You son of a bitch-"

"Hyejin!" Shane calls, trying to stop me.

I snatch the wooden baseball bat from some other guy who stood with a blonde girl and run at the man named 'Otis'.

"Hyejin, no!" Shane scolds, just barely managing to grab the bat out of thin air when I swung at Otis.

I was yelling, but I couldn't even tell what words were coming out of my mouth. All I knew is they weren't nice or quiet.

Two arms wrap around my waist from behind. Rick puts his face on the back of my shoulder, holding me tight. He sobs out a cry and my soul feels like it tears into shreds, beyond repair and able to be fixed again.

Shane jerks the bat out of my hand and I double over, sobbing in Rick's hold.

I couldn't remember all the details of how Carl got shot.

One second we were walking through the woods and the next we were running through a field.

Rick carried Carl. I was right beside him, though. Shan took a minute longer because he was running with Otis.

I don't even remember seeing Carl get shot. I don't remember a thing. Just silence.. then panic.

Rick stumbles as he pulls me to the living room. My hair sticks to my wet face as I cry, collapsing on the couch. Rick lets go enough to kneel on the floor in front of me. I continue to cry and I wrap him in a proper hug. All we could do was hold one another and cry.

--

"He's out of danger for the moment," Hershel says, walking into the room. "But, I need to remove those remaining fragments."

I bite on my thumbnail as I continue to pace.

"How? You saw how he was," Rick reminds of the moment that just passed.

"I know and that was the shallowest one. I need to go deeper to get the others. There's more, though."

"Tell me," Rick urges.

"His belly's distended, his pressure is dropping, which means there's internal bleeding. A fragment must have nicked one of the blood vessels. I have to open him up, find the bleeder and stitch it. And he can't move while I'm in there, I mean at all. If he reacts the same as before, I'll severe and artery and he'll be dead in minutes."

I cover my mouth and swallow the acid that dared build, the need to vomit suddenly overpowering.

"To even try this, I have to put him under. But, if I do, he won't be able to breathe on his own. Same bad results."

"What'll it take?" Rick asks.

"Full respirator kit- tube and all," I voice, hoarse and sad. "Scalpels, tissue forceps, artery forceps, antiseptic cleansers, retractors, sutures.."

"And maybe more," Hershel adds.

"You got any of that in the ambulance?" Rick asks.

"Maybe some antiseptic, retractors, and forceps.. The respirator bag was damaged and I can't patch it up. Even so, the equipment is all adult-built. The reactors would be too big for him. It'd tear him open," I deny. "And not in the way Doc needs to open him up to get through. This would damage his stomach."

Hershel looks at me and nods. "Exactly right."

I lean over the back of the couch. "You got a place in mind?"

"The nearest hospital went up in flames a month ago," Otis speaks up. I send him a glare, but he notices a look in Hershel's eyes. "The high school."

"High school?" I repeat.

"They set up a FEMA shelter there. They would have everything we need," Hershel explains.

I nod and stand up straight.

"Place was overrun the last time I saw it," Otis adds. "You couldn't get near it. Maybe it's better now."

"I said it.. Leave the rest to me," Shane says before joking. "Is it too late to take that back?"

"I hate you going alone," Rick says with a frown.

"Not alone," I deny. "I'm tagging along."

"Hyejin," Rick calls, soft. "Your ankle."

"It's fine," I promise. "Besides, butthead over there doesn't know what half the stuff looks like."

"Come to think of it," Shane agrees. "Sounds like you were speaking another language over there."

"And you do?" Hershel makes sure.

"EMT," I answer. "I got it."

"I've been a volunteer EMT and I know the place," Otis speaks up again. "I'll back you both up. Bring you there."

"Otis, no," Patricia scolds.

"Honey, we don't have time for this. I'm not gonna sit back and let these two struggle. And I am responsible. Now we can sit here and chit-chat all day or we can go and do it right quick."

"I take right quick," Shane agrees.

"I'll gather some things. Meet me outside," Otis says.

Shane heads outside and I know he was going after his gun.

Rick reaches toward me and I take his hand. "Hyejin.. I don't.."

"It's all right," I swear squeezing his hand. "Just stay here and eat some fruit before you pass out."

"I don't.. I can't do this alone," he whispers.

I frown and walk around the couch, holding his hand properly. "You can. We won't be gone long."

"Where is she?" another woman asks as she walks closer. "Your wife?"

My free hand pats Rick's arm. "Just hold on until Lori gets here. Shane and I will handle the rest."

Rick takes a deep breath and turns my hand around. He slides his colt python in my hand, gripping my fingers around it.

"You sure?" I ask.

"Call it a Viking's Promise."